Not In That Way - Lauren Jauregui/You *in editing*

chapter 6.

"So basically you." I blurted out without thinking.

"That's not what I meant." She said standing from the pool and making her way over to the elevator.

"Lauren." I said gently trying to get her stay.

"Lauren!" I said firmer this time.

"LAUREN WILL YOU PLEASE STOP FUCKING RUNNING AWAY." I yelled and she stormed over to me.

"You've got nerve telling me I'm the one who always runs away." She spat.

"Care to elaborate." I said firmly.

"You flew across the country just to tell me you loved me then you slept with my best friend and ran away back home." She stated honestly.

"I bet you planned it all." She said harshly, I just stayed silent.

"Did you even think how heartbroken I was when you left." She said, she now seemed a little calmer.

"I never planned for any of that to happen." I confessed.

"JUST STOP ALREADY." She yelled.

"Stop what?"

"Stop making me feel sorry for you, I'm meant to hate you!" She spoke.

"Why are you meant to hate me?" I question.

"Because you told me you would never leave me and thats exactly what you did and then you fuck off for nine months and expect everything to be just peachy when you see me again." She said through gritted teeth and now I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Are you actually serious right now? I never see you because you're always touring and recording and when you do actually come home you never bother with me." I said, it was the truth.

"And then I'm expected to be okay with that." I continued.

"Thats my life." She spoke.

"Well maybe I left you alone for nine months because I don't want you in my life anymore." I said firmly.

"You don't mean that." She said trying to hold back tears.

"Don't I?" Was all I said before leaving her, again.

--

"Can I talk to you." I asked entering the room.

"Sure." She responded and I entered the music room.

"I can't stay, I'm sorry." I told her.

"No, you're not leaving again. Me, Dinah, Ally and Mani won't allow it." She said as kinda a demand.

"There's nothing here for me." I said shyly.

"Isn't there?" She said before placing her lips on mine.

Soon enough I was guiding her to our shared room where we fell onto my bed, our lips never parting once.

--

"Did we seriously do that again?" She asked.

"I think we did." I replied.

"I really missed you." She said resting her head on my chest.

"I really missed you too." I spoke truthfully.

--

Morning soon came and after yesterdays events I was positive about two things.

Lauren and I's relationship is confusing as fuck and Camila and I's is also confusing as fuck.

I felt so bad for telling Lauren I didn't want her in my life, I mean of course I get angry when she's off touring and recording but I guess I just have to deal with it but I miss her every single day that she is not beside me, I love her and I seriously can't see myself loving anyone as much as I love Lauren and that scares me because I love her and I don't know what to do about.

Then Camila is one of my best friends now and I feel so guilty because she has feelings for me and I keep sleeping with her and giving her a glimmer of hope just to ruin it.

I ruin everything.

I need to tell Lauren what's going on in my head, I need to tell Camila that whatever is going on between the two of us needs to stop.

"Morning." I heard a raspy voice say as someone entered the kitchen.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, because I sure didn't.

"Not really, you?" She returned.

"No but I think we didn't sleep for different reasons." I explained.

"I figured, I mean you and Mila weren't exactly quiet." Lauren said trying to hide the hurt.

"I'm sorry." I said simply.

"Why? I mean you're single and it's not like you like anybody right now so you can hook up with whoever you want." She said sadly.

"Lauren..." I started but I didn't know what to say.

"Why?" She asked.

"Why what?" I questioned.

"Why did you do it?" She asked, she wasn't upset anymore now she just seemed angry.

"I wasn't thinking." I explained, which wasn't a lie.

"You seem to do that a lot, you know not think." She said harshly.

"I don't see why you're so bothered anyway because according to you I'm not even into anybody at the moment." I replied just as harsh.

"I said you didn't like anyone, I never said you weren't in love with someone." She said shyly.

"I fucked up, I fucked everything up just like always." I said looking at the ground.

"I love you." I said.

Silence.

"Lauren please say something." I pleaded.

"You already know how I feel." She responded.

"You still love me?" I questioned carefully.

"How can I not, you're all I think about, before I go to sleep you're on my mind when I wake up you're on my mind, every single fucking love song reminds me of you and I hate that I love you because me and you are toxic it's like we need to hurt each other to be happy." She explained.

"You've never hurt me. I know I've hurt you but sleeping with Camila it was a mistake, both times I felt like shit afterwards." I spoke.

I stepped closer to her and cupped her cheek with my hand.

I started to slowly lean just to see if she wanted me to stop. She didn't show any sign of wanting me to stop so I kept going.

Our lips barely brushed before she pulled away but I leant back in again and connected our lips again, this time the kiss wasn't over in a second it was filled with love, with passion, with lust.

We started to move backwards so she was against the wall and that was when things started to heat up even more.

"I....can't I'm sorry." She said pulling away.

"Please." I said leaning back in.

"Y/N please stop, I can't do this." She said and backed away.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Why can't we just be together?" I continued.

"Because I'm going on a world tour in three weeks." She blurted out.

A/N: is anyone actually reading this??