Ruin Maketh Me

73 - Please don't go

     I slam myself into the harsh sheets of the bed, blood boiling beneath my skin. What gives her the fucking right to unleash her anger and frustration all on me? Why do I have to suffer her disappointment when we're just fucking strangers? Because strangers, yes, that's all we are. We haven't even known each other for a single day. What does she fucking know about me? Nothing. She knows nothing at all.
     A choking sensation strangles me by the neck, and I gasp into the rose-scented pillows. I hadn't planned on continuing this relationship with Ralphus, not when we're in a situation like this where we're bound to others, but, but why can't I help but give in? Every time I see his imploring eyes and furrowed brows, I can't help but smile and lie to myself, to both of us when I know, I know that things aren't as easy as me accepting his confession. If only things were as simple as that. I would've said yes and yes and yes a thousand times already.
     Sourness slides up the back of my throat and flushes through the root of my nose. No, I press the heels of my palm into my eyes, don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. You're not a baby, what's so hard about this? Don't cry. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last. So, don't cry.
     You can't cry.
     But the sourness builds up at the corners of my eyes, and wetness blooms a patch of salty dampness on the pillowcase, and my shoulders shake, and I don't know how to stop them from trembling. Please, someone, anyone, tell me even I deserve love. Why can't I fall in love? Why can't I keep the person I like by my side? Am I that dirty? But I wasn't given a choice! I've never been given a choice!
     Sol, help me. Help me! But I know my words don't go through, and all that echoes back at me is a mess of static. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep— like an unanswered call. He's not there, the dark Pit roars, but why are you so lonely? Weren't you the one who pushed him away first? Weren't you the one who pushed both of them away?
     No. I shout wordlessly into the sheets. I've never been given a choice whether here or there. I did everything to live a normal, happy life last time, and yet I still died before I could get anywhere. This time, this life, I lost on the starting line too. Too young, too weak, no magic, no status, no money, no family, and now, Ralphus and Sol are also a thousand miles away.
As good as gone?
Fuck. I tear into the pillow and bash the soft material against the wall. Why do I have to be so fucking desperate all the time? Everything I want escapes from my grasp. Surely I've tried hard enough? Surely I've suffered enough already?
"Tell me, do I have to fucking kneel down for you?" I scream to the ceiling, "If I kneel down and beg and send you prayers everyday, will you finally give me what I want? Will you finally let me be happy for just a little while? Is this my punishment? But I haven't done anything bad! You know it! Even if no one else believes me, you know it!"
I collapse back onto the mattress, gasping for air. Closing my eyes, I grip the crisp sheets tightly in my hands and feel the bite of fibres into skin. No God. There's no Uhyls or Merlow or whatever God people here believe in.
No one's listening.
A heavy, addled touch churns the thoughts swirling in my head. A different darkness sweeps in, a curtain call, and it's so weak, I don't realise I'm asleep until a substance more viscous than ink surrounds my ankles, and there's nothing but empty space within my grasp.
     I slosh forwards through the dark sludge into the pitch black depths of this dream space. Anything? Anyone? A hammering resounds within my chest, bleeding through my flesh and bones into the empty silence of this place. Dark, just darkness and this cold tar stickiness clinging to my feet. Is there an end? Never mind, it doesn't matter, I carry on, feet splashing dully into the liquid. I'll get somewhere eventually. There must be something more.
     A faint stirring in the utter silence pricks through the blunt thud, thud, thud of my heart. My feet thump towards the source of the trickling air. Something's here. I approach, closer and closer to the whistle of air... breath, it's someone breathing. But who else is here with me in my dream? Is it another phantom imitation of Jacques conquered up by my aimless conscious?
     My feet halt in front of the being. It's heat radiates to my bare arms, and it's heavy breaths accelerate in pace above my head. The rattle of chains break through the quiet, and a low, pained growl echoes through the dark.
     "Who are you?" And for some untold reason, the pounding of my heart slows to a regular beat.
     A tortured whine leaks from the being's mouth and squeezes into the chambers of my heart. My fingers trail upwards and forwards towards him slowly, hesitantly. This voice, the pitch, the timbre, the smooth buttery nature... It can't be, surely?
     Light devouring violet eyes snap open before me, and all the darkness around us draws away until our surroundings are a murky grey that no longer hides anything from my sight. The entirety of the man in front of me spreads into my eyes.
     Ralphus's tan, lithe body stands before me, but each of his limbs is pulled tautly to his side by thick, black iron chains spiralling straight into the murky black liquid. Blindingly vibrant red blood drips from deep gashes lining his wrists where the cuffs must've cut into his flesh ruthlessly. In some places, the cuts are so deep that the ashen white of bone is visible through the raw, peeled back flesh. Thick white hair spills from his bowed head down his strong legs into the dark pool, and even those silky strands are dyed a rusty red where they stick to the open, seeping wounds.
     His bright, violet eyes are shrouded in a veil of chilling darkness deeper even than the wrath shadowing his eyes the last I saw him. They glower at me with an animal brutality and pain, and without warning, his blood stained lips pull back into a growl, wickedly sharp fangs extending past his lower lip. He pulls against the chains with all of his strength, towards me, but the hard metal doesn't give way, only bites deeper into his cut open wrists. Another ferocious stream of blood gushes over the black metal, down his hands to his clawed fingertips.
     The breath stuck in the back of my throat bursts, and my feet stumble between forwards, "Stop! You're hurting yourself!"
     He stills, cocks his head so that his ears are turned towards me.
     "Ralph, what is all this? Why are you chained up?"
     He turns his unblinking eyes back to me, but there's no recognition in his gaze, only a stumble of desperate yearning and pain I've seen time and time again in abandoned animals.
     Fuck. My eyes draw back to the weeping cuts, and an unbidden sourness chokes my nose. I reach out a finger towards his arm, and he jerks back, metal cuffs biting reversely into his flesh again.
     I bite down into my lips, and stare back into his eyes, "Shhh, I'm not here to hurt you. Everything's going to be ok."
     His purple eyes squint down at me, and we stand like that, eyes drinking in each other with all barriers lowered for what seems like a small eternity. His hard, irregular breath calms, and his tender lips press down into their usual position. The sweat-washed skin of his torso trembles, but he shifts back into place, and he lets my fingers touch the burning, pulsing skin of his arm again.
     My heart squeezes, and I grasp Ralph's arm gently, "I'll set you free."
He swings his head down towards me, fighting against the extremities of the bond, and a louder, imploring whine forces its way past his lips.
My finger travels down his arm, and I take a closer look at the cuff and chain. There's no key hole or even gap within the handcuffs, it's like the iron was soldered around Ralph's wrist. The person who put him here, wherever this is, never meant for him to be free for even a single moment however fleeting.
I clench my jaws together until a pain drives its roots into my gums, and giving him a small smile, meant to reassure him or me, I don't know, I take the cold, blood slick metal into my hand. At my touch however, the chains loosen with a rattling unravelling. The hard iron doesn't fall off Ralph's limbs, but they no longer restrict him to a single spot like a pinned butterfly.
A hybrid sigh growls from deep within his throat, and he raises his arms as if in tentative flight. I brush my fingers through his long hair and fire him a quick, quivering smile. He just cooks his head without understanding, eyes alight with a feverish fire.
"You don't understand what I'm saying now, do you?" My voice falters jaggedly within the nothingness.
His eyes don't leave my face, but the dark gaze of his eyes show no acceptance of understanding. There's only the barren ravages of nature and animal instinct. It chills me to the bone.
I take a step back.
His arms shoot out around me, and he engulfs me in a tight embrace of blood and sweat and that soul-stirring smell unique to him. His nose presses hard into my shoulder, hot breath burning the bare skin up my neck. Sharp fangs slide roughly against my skin, and a string of fire ignites under their touch. His hands clutch mine as if feeding off their warmth, and the tip of his nose travels up my neck to the round of my ear.
"Ralph." I murmur, voice low.
He growls deeply, the sound reverberating against my skin. Pressing me hard into his body as if trying to melt me into him, I feel a scalding hot bulge press against my back. He nuzzles my hair, and thrusts his hard cock against my back in strong, rhythmic strokes.
I shift and turn towards him, a wicked flame licking the roof of my insides. He snarls in dissatisfaction, but I twist around in his possessive hold until we're face to face. Lifting my face to his, I catch sight of his gaze, and all signs of rationality snaps into dust. Pulling his handsome face down by the hair, I lock my lips with his. A deep, guttural groan leaks from his red lips, and although his fangs press against my mouth like prison cell bars, his long tongue forces itself into my mouth. He sweeps through every corner and entangles the hot flesh of his tongue with mine. The burning in my pants intensifies, and as if reading my thoughts, he holds me tightly by the waist and rubs his cloth-bound cock against mine.
"Mmmmhn." A moan grates through my lips into his.
A mix of our saliva drips down my chin, and he finally lets my mouth go, dark eyes devouring me. His supple tongue extends from his mouth and laps up the saliva sliding down from the corners of my mouth. Grinding hard against me with his burning rod, his large hands travel under my shirt, up my torso to my chest. A wicked smile pulls his lips upwards, and before I can regain a sliver of sanity, his rough swords-man fingers envelop my chest and pinch both of my nipples, hard.
"Ahh!"
An electrical shot courses from between my legs, and I sag downwards, knees losing all power. One powerful hand detaches from the tender skin of my nipples and cups my waist, going down with me into the viscous, black liquid. His other hand twists my nipple unmercifully, and I twitch against the sloshing liquid uncontrollably. I try to squirm away from the rippling sensation travelling from my chest to my dick, but Ralph doesn't let me go, only holds me tighter, planting hard kisses down my neck.
"Fuck, Ralph, too much." I gasp.
He grunts in the back of his throat, and releasing his grip on my chest, rips my shirt apart. Fire burns my nipples, and burying his mouth into the side of my neck, he flicks the sensitive buds with his long fingers. Another wave of pleasure rolls over me, and I jerk upwards, clenching two long locks of his hair in my hand.
"God, Ralph," I groan.
He slides down my body, dragging the tip of his fingers softly down my bare skin to the edges of my pants, and without warning, he tears the fabric into pieces too. His powerful hands squeeze my thighs, rip my pants away, and he buries his nose in the hair curling around my penis. Heat flushes my cheeks, and I nudge his head with a hand.
"Don't do that."
Ralph's head snaps up, and he growls warningly at me before going back to drinking in the scent of the soft down surrounding my erection. I shift restlessly; the heat pooling between my legs is near unbearable. My fingers inch downwards towards the source of hotness, but the silken strands of Ralph's white hair coils around my wrists and tightens into an unbreakable bond. I twist and turn, splashing black liquid everywhere, but my hands just can't reach my smouldering need.
     "Ralph, please!" I groan breathlessly.
     His dark eyes lift to meet mine between the heated space.
     I clench my jaw and yearn towards the now-painful stiffness, "Please."
     Ralph's shadowed eyes simmer dangerously darker still, and a twitch of excitement thrums through the fragile skin of my abdomen. His fingers grab the firm muscle of my thighs, and with one fluid, rough motion, he flips me around in the warm liquid. The wave of unsatisfied desire bunches through my muscles and unravels my mind. I hump my inextinguishable heat through the liquid towards the hard floor, but before I can receive any kind of release, Ralph's slender fingers press into my torso strongly and push me up on my knees.
     His defined hands peel apart my asscheeks, exposing the inner most part to the cold corrosion of air.
     A silence.
     A sharp, shaky intake of breath.
     Then an animalistic growl grates from his throat, and a sudden fear burns my mind into a scrambled mess. Fuck, I'm too tight, I need to be loosened up first, otherwise... Otherwise with how big he is, he's going to tear me in two.
     "Ralph, you need to loosen me up!" My breath shakes, and my voice comes out unnecessarily lustful, "You need to loosen me up with your fingers otherwise you'll tear me."
     Only Ralph's heavy panting answers me.
     "Darling, loosen me up, and it'll feel real good afterwards, I promise. Ok? Do you hear me?"
     A small grunt echoes from behind, and a smooth sensation flares up upon my ass. A breath of relief blows out of my mouth like a gas-less balloon. Thank god that he's not lost all his reason, but... is he rubbing his cheek against my butt? The silky rubbing motion continues, and accompanying it is a slimy stickiness pressing against my entrance. A twinge of pain courses through my back, but I take in a deep breath, and he forces a finger into my anus successfully though impatiently. Thank god he remembered to retract his claws...
     Ralph thrusts in and out, and although there is little to no technique in his absent fingering, another frustrating wave of need washes over my insides and stiff erection. He adds another finger and another, and god, my hips start moving on their own back and forth for more stimulation, just a little more. But release doesn't come, it's not enough, something bigger, something hotter, I need it to fill me up.
     "Ralph!" I choke into the rippling liquid, "You can put it in now."
     Immediately his fingers retract from my insides, and something twice as hot grinds against and into my entrance. Pain explodes white hot in that delicate place. My teeth smash together, and my fingers scramble across the smooth ground for something, something to hold onto. He's bigger than what I had imagined. Too thick, too hot, and still, it's not entirely in.
     A low pur fills the air, and hard fingers clench down on my waist. And without any other sign, he thrusts the entirety of his length into me. My mind goes blinding white, and I can't think, and there's nothing but a flash of pain, and I'm slipping into the liquid. Tears bite at my eyes, and I can't stop the downpour of saltiness spilling over, down my face.
     Ralph's movements stop completely, and a warm hand caresses up and down my back. The hard ridge of his nose presses into my spine, and his fangs scrape into my skin in a shallow bite. Strangely, the pain doesn't intensify, and instead a pleasure filled shiver travels into a deep pool below my stomach. The heat burning my insides... so full.
     "Mhhhn." He groans against my skin.
     And he starts moving. His long, thick cock impales itself inside of me again and again at the deepest point. The sound of balls slapping against skin fill the humid air, and waves upon waves of mind-jumbling euphoria wash upon me.
     "Ah, aaaah, ahh, slow—slower."
     All sound melts away from my ears, and saliva drips down my lower lip. His hands wrap around my shoulders, and with one mighty pull, wrecks me on his hot rod. My head arches upwards, and my cries scream out voicelessly. So good, feels so good, too good.
     He turns me around, his cock spinning within me, and holds my legs against his broad shoulder. Slap, slap, slap. The pleasure mounts up to one terrible point, and his handsome face blurs in and out of sight.
     "Cum," I gasp, "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum!"
     A growl rips from his throat, and my back arches upwards, but there's no release, and I'm falling down from heaven into hell. A whine distorts from my lips, and I strain forwards. White hair wrapped around the base. Can't cum. Need to cum. I scrabble towards the hair, but the strands around my hands pull my arms taunt. Just an inch more. An inch and I can go to heaven.
     Slap, slap, slap, slap. The rod within me thrusts deeper and harder. Pleasure pools into me, but there's no way out, it's too much, I'm going to break, he's going to break me, everything dissolves—
     "Pl—ease, cum, let me cum, plea— ahhhh!"
     His eyes close, mouth opens, and hot molten lava fills me to the brim, and everything shines blinding white, the pleasure, the torture bursts, and I'm untethered.
    
     When I come to, Ralph's still buried in me, raging hard again, but the edges of the space are fading like popped bubbles, and I know, in some indescribable, ubiquitous way, that it's time to leave. The rattle of chains sound like the toll of twelve, and Ralph is pulled forcefully out of me by his bounds. He snarls, yanks against the cut of the cuff, but the power of the chains is godly and undefiable, no matter how hard he fights, he loses.
     Step by step, he's pulled back to the place he was made to stay before, and all that's left is the descension of despair and inextinguishable anger in his eyes. He looks at me as if a deprived man staring at an oasis. My heart falls straight into the pits of Tartarus. Why? What's going on? I don't want to leave. I can't leave him here in the dark, all by himself.
    His eyes bear into me with a look I've never seen and never will forget, "Please," he cries hoarsely, "please, don't go."
    But before I can clutch his hands and promise him, I wake.

-

AN: Extra long and sexy chapter to make up for my late update. I'm so sleepy now, uhhhh, hope you all enjoy it. Poor Ralphus baby, I'll explain the rest in the next chap! And yes, I'll try to update more regularly next time.