Ruin Maketh Me

27 - Interim

Clink. Jacques puts down his wine glass and stares at me across the table.
My eyes narrow and I place down my knife and fork.
"What's wrong kitten?" He smiles, "Food not to your taste?"
I lean back in my chair, watch his content face from afar, "I don't understand you."
Jacques's red, red smile deepens, "What do you not understand?"
A shot of frustration plunges into the ache of my chest, "Why me?"
He supports his head with a hand and continues scanning my face, "There's no reason. Do I need one to like you?"
Yes. That unbearable heat climbs up my heart. You bastard.
"Would you have picked up anyone from the streets?"
His blue eyes curve gently, "Do I need to tell you again? The answer's no."
The heat simmers the walls of my throat. I stand up, slam my hand on the table, "Then why me?"
"Because you looked like you needed a home to return to."
"Bullshit!" I spit, "There are tons of homeless people on the streets! Why me? Why are you doing this to me?"
Jacques's smile fades from his eyes, "I saw you and I felt that you needed me."
"Need?" I laugh to the ceiling, "I'm a prisoner here!"
His brows furrow, "Prisoner? You're not my prisoner, you're free to go anywhere you like."
The fever explodes in my mouth, "Free? Is this your concept of free?" I pull the leather collar around my neck, "Take this damn thing off me, I'm not your pet!"
Jacques takes up his wine glass and swirls it in the candlelight, "No." He takes a sip, savours it and looks up neutrally, "You can go anywhere you want, I'm not going to stop you, but I'm not taking the collar off."
I kick the table leg, taste the iron bitterness in my mouth, "Fuck you!"
Fuck you.
—nder Delphus."
My ears ring as if I'm under water.
"Cynder Delphus."
My eyelids flutter open, and a series of blurry colours squeeze through my pounding skull. Anxious gold eyes threaded with red and platinum hair hangs above me.
"Thank Merlow you're awake." Lilith says with a deep breath of relief.
My whole body burns as if I've been under the sun for too long, "What happened?" I croak.
He places a cool, damp towel on my forehead and sits on the side of the bed, "You suffered magic rejection."
I close my eyes, relishing the coolness of the cloth, "Magic rejection?"
"Yes," he says quietly, "Unfortunately your body rejects any magic cast on it."
Fuck. I gnash my teeth. "Is that why I feel like I just got dragged along the street in the burning sun for hours?"
"Yes," Lilith replies, mellow voice low and faint, "How do you feel when going for a portal?"
Realisation strikes immediately, "I feel like absolute shit and can't help but wanna puke every time."
I comb through all the details these past few days, the dizziness and nausea after going through portals, the agony when I held onto that red crystal, god, the agony when Lilith tried to heal my arm. Damn it!
I open my eyes, turn my head and stare at Lilith.
"Why?"
He clasps his hands, "Your soul won't take it. Was your previous world one with magic?"
I clench my eyes shut, "No. It wasn't."
A helpless silence takes up the space between us. What can I do now? Without magic I can't even get myself healed. I won't be able to do anything in this world. God damn it!
"I reduced your dislocated shoulder whilst you were unconscious." Lilith says softly, "Magic rejection is quite troublesome, but it's not the end of the world, unless they're a Lilith they won't be able to see the condition of your soul."
I nod numbly against the pillow. God, you must really enjoy messing with me.
"You've been unconscious for ten hours, I'm afraid you have to go back. Tell your master that the Lilith of the Helm has forbidden you to heal your arm. They won't go against my command."
Ten hours? I was unconscious for ten hours? I shake the grogginess from my head and push against the mattress with my right hand. Supporting my back, he helps me upright.
"Is this something that can be solved?" I ask, running my hand brutally through my tangled hair.
"I'm afraid not."
I cast my eyes away and fumble into my shoes. My life seems destined to be a difficult one. Again. Again and again. Can't I hope for something better?
Lilith leads me from the small room into a square landing of sorts, down a set of steps, through a large wooden door at the bottom and into the main hall of the church from this morning. Unlike this morning, the golden brightness of light is gone, and instead, in its place is a dim orange glow suffusing the whole of the space. An ominous loneliness covers the place like a funeral shroud.
"There's someone outside to take you back." Lilith says, taking me up the aisle to the church entrance. But before he opens the door and lets me out, he turns, eyes strange in the soft glow.
"Don't let anyone find out about your magic rejection, only otherworlders are known to suffer from it." His eyes linger on mine for some time then his eyes shift and the seriousness lifts a fraction, "I'll send someone tomorrow morning to bring you here."
I nod, grasp the door handle, step out and say, "I'll see you tomorrow."
The heavy door closes behind with a whisper but not before I catch a faint "Yes."
I take a deep breath, take in the beautiful spattering of purple lilacs on the grass and stare up at the purple streaked sky. It's not the end of the world. Everything's going to be just fine. I smile down at myself and start forwards slowly. He did say someone's here for me.
I pass through the lych gate, and there, standing arrow straight in the shadow of a tall oak with magnificently extending branches is Ralphus. His white hair dances lightly in the evening breeze, and his dazzling purple eyes swing from the dusk sky to my face.
He extends a hand, "I'm here to take you back."