Daytime Dreamer

💙 Anger Issues

Hey guys! So I just finished writing this. My weekend has been utter hell, and I was nearly shaking in rage and anger (I have really bad anger issues). So I decided to write this and it made me feel a bit better. I hope you guys enjoy it. ❤💙

I was not having a good day at all. My phone died and I couldn't find my charger, I tripped up the stairs and scraped my shin just a teeny bit, and I went to put my earbuds to listen to music, and my left earbud was dead. But the last straw was when I was trying to draw a picture and I kept screwing it up. I couldn't control myself and I ripped the picture up and threw my sketch pad across the room. God, everything I do is garbage... I hate myself... then Delia yells out, "Girls! Dinner!" I calm myself down and walk out of my room to the dining room to eat. We're all sitting at the table together, the girls are laughing and talking while I just sit there, eating in silence. "So how was your day, sweetheart?" Delia asks me. "Fine..." I mutter just loud enough for her to hear. The girls all look at each other, more concern on their faces then not. "Is something the matter, darling?"

I shake my head and continue eating, trying my hardest not to get upset. "Are you sure? You don't seem like yourse-" I stand up and slam my hands down on the table and shout, "I said I'm fine! You can quit asking me over and over like I'm some stupid little kid!" They all gasp and are completely stunned by my actions. I've never been the type to yell or shout at someone. I've always been quiet and shy my whole life. My eyes grow wide when I realize I'm standing up, looking straight at Delia. Oh my god... I just yelled at her... my breath starts getting shakey and I start to feel the tears forming in my eyes. "I... I'm..." I try to talk, but I can barely get the words out. I just run to my room and shut the door. I drop down onto my bed and I burst into tears. She probably hates me now... she was just trying to ask me how I was and I just screamed right in her face... God, what is wrong with me? I'm a fucking psychopath...

In the middle of my thoughts, I hear a soft knock on my door. "Rhiannon? Sweetheart, can I come in?" I hear Delia's voice and I immediately sit up. "Y-yeah, come in..." I wipe my face, trying to look as presentable as I can. The door opens and Delia walks in and shuts the door. "Hey sweetheart..." she walks over and sits down next to me on the bed. "I take it you didn't have a good day today?" I nod slowly, trying to keep myself from crying again. "Why didn't you say anything? You know you can always come to me or one of the girls if you ever need to talk..." I start tearing up again and I ask her in barely a whisper, "Can... can I hug you? Please?" Without saying a word, she wraps her arms around me tighter than she ever has and I break down in her arms. She runs her fingers through my hair, softly shushing me as she gently rocks us back and forth. "Shhhh, it's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. It's alright..."

after a few minutes, I finally decide to say something. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you... I wouldn't blame you if you hate me..." her eyes grow wide and she holds me tighter. "No, sweetheart... don't say that... I could never hate you, no matter what you said or did..." I pull away and wipe my eyes. "Do you mean that?" She nods and kisses my tear stained cheek. "Of course I do. You're my baby, and I could never hate you. Ever..." I wrap my arms around her neck and hold her tighter than I've ever held anyone. "Do you forgive me for yelling at you?" She pulls away and kisses me softly. "Of course I do, baby." "I never meant to yell at you. You were just trying to ask if I'm alright, and I had to act like a total psychopath..." Delia shakes her head and kisses between my eyes. "No, baby, no... you did not act like a psychopath. Trust me... " I pull away to look at her. "I have really bad anger issues, and I hate it. I already yelled at you, what'll happen next? I yell at one of the other girls? Oh my God, what if my anger gets even worse and I hurt one of you? What if I-"

"Shhh, stop. That's not going to happen, sweetheart. It's going to be alright, we're going to get this under control." I nod and wrap my arms back around her. "Delia?" "Yes, sweetheart?" I pull away enough to look at her. "Could... would you mind if I slept with you tonight?" She softly grins and puts her forehead against mine, nodding slowly. "Of course you can, babygirl. You don't even have to ask." I smile and hug her tight, snuggling into the crook of her neck. "I love you, Delia. I love you so much, you know that?" "I do. You know I love you, right?" I nod, hugging her tighter. "I love you so much, sweetheart. I love you more than anything in this life. You're my world, my universe, and I thank God for you every day." I hear her sniffle and I pull away to see tears in Delia's eyes. "Delia, why are you crying?" I wipe the tears off her cheeks and leave a kiss on each one.

"Cause I just love you so much. Every day, I wake up thinking, "I can't believe I'm actually a mom. I have this beautiful little angel that I get to love and care for and cherish with everything in me. This beautiful angel that depends on me, and deserves all the love in the entire universe." I start to feel emotional, and I blink my eyes a few times to stop the tears from coming out. "Dang it, I'm not going to cry..." we both start laughing and she gives me one last hug and kiss. "Do you want to come into my room and watch a movie with me?" I grin big and nod fast. "I'd love to. Could I eat something? I didn't get to eat much." She nods and stands up, holding her hand out for me. "Of course you can, sweetheart. You can have whatever you'd like." I smile and take her hand as we go to the kitchen. When it got around bedtime, me and her went to her room and watched movies until we fell asleep all snuggled up together.