Chapter Forty-Eight - We Knew It Would Happen

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Corban

It was dark out and I was holding one of the candles next to Warren while everyone else made dinner outside. I held my breath as I watched Warren hold the baby in his arms, ever since his seizure earlier that morning the baby had only gotten worse. The baby didn't cry, it didn't eat, it didn't drink. All day he's just sat silently. Eerily silently. I didn't wanna think about what was happening, I knew what was happening but I didn't want it to happen. I knew Warren knew it too, and he knew there was nothing he could do to help. So he just sat there holding the baby giving him all the love he could. Because it's all we could really do.

I stared at the baby and watched it's irregular breathing, the baby was fighting so hard. This was the worst feeling in the world. If only we just had the technology, I know for a fact if we had a fully functioning hospital we'd be able to save him. I can't imagine how frustrated Warren must be. He probably knows the diagnosis already and just needs to see what area of the brain is hurt or needs to see where he needs to operate.

I hated this. I hated this evil waiting game just watching the babies breaths become shallower and shallower. I hated watching him gasp for air. It was too much. Reaching up with my other hand I wiped my eyes with my jacket sleeve, I didn't want to start crying. I didn't want to make things worse.

"Corban, you don't have to watch this if you don't want to." Warren whispered as he kept his gaze on the baby.

"I don't want you to deal with this alone." I whispered back, "I can handle it."

"Your only seventeen, you don't need to see this." Warren insisted, "I worked in a hospital for eight years this isn't the first dying person I've sat with."

"Are you sure..?" I asked as I took my glasses off to wipe my eyes better.

Warren nodded.

"Okay..." I sniffled as I set the candle on the table with the others, I made my way over to the door looking back at the baby one more time before stepping out. Crossing the threshold and shutting the door behind me I stepped out causing Elias, Cleveland, Blake, and Reece to fall completely silent and stare at me waiting for an update.

"Is the baby any better?" Reece asked.

The question was my breaking point holding my glasses in one hand standing right in front of the doorway I started crying in front of the four of them. I covered my face and leaned forward feeling my face turn red and wrinkle as my crying turned into sobbing. I couldn't handle seeing that baby like that anymore, for so long I've just kept pushing down these emotions so I could help Warren with the baby to prove myself to him and now they were all coming out in one ugly mess.

"Oh no... Corban it's okay..." Elias muttered.

Reece must've stood up and walked over to me because I felt her hands on my shoulders as she sat me down on the ground with them and put her arms around me while I cried.

"It's not...okay." I choked out, "H-he's dying."

"You and Warren did everything you could do." Reece said.

"I still feel shitty..." I sobbed.

"It's okay to feel upset Corban." Blake said as she stepped forward and knelt down in front of me, "This is something people shouldn't have to experience. It's okay to feel what your feeling."

I just sat there and kept crying as I grabbed onto Reece's arm as she hugged me. If there was anyone who always seemed to understand me it was Reece. She told me when we first met that she had been taken as a slave to the Syndicates when she was a child as well. It was  something we helped each other recover from. Seeing that baby dying, it just brought back some memories I should've forgotten. However sitting there crying while hugging Reece felt nice, despite feeling everyone's moods plummet. I knew after today it would slow and quiet for the next few days. Painfully slow and quiet.

I sat out there for what seemed like ages. Blake offered me food, I declined, I wasn't in the mood to eat. Elias gave me a pat on the knee, he really couldn't do much while sitting down, his leg was still healing. Sometimes I'd be able to take a glance out from my testy eyes and I'd see a blurry Cleveland staring at me sadly. He looked like he wanted to help cheer me up but didn't know how. Cleveland was a very awkward person, I knew he was trying to talk to us more but I can't tell if he just doesn't have the social skills to or if he's just too shy, or just both.

I heard the door open up behind me and we all turned our heads to see a disheveled Warren standing in the doorway. He let out a sigh before he spoke. "He's gone."

Even though I knew this would happen I still felt my stomach churn and my heart skip a beat after processing what Warren has said. The tears just kept streaming down my face again as I stared up at him.

Again the silence hit and it was gut wrenching.

"I uh, I can't do it." Warren spoke up as he tiredly dragged his hand down his face, "I need someone else to handle the body I just... I can't."

There was another silence. No one wants to dispose the dead body of a baby.

"I can do it." Blake said as she stood up. She walked past me and patted Warren on his back as she walked inside.

"Warren, do you want something to eat?" Cleveland asked quietly, "You should really eat something..."

Warren shook his head, "No thanks. I'm not hungry."

"Do you wanna come sit down? Get some fresh air?" Cleveland said.

Warren stood there for a minute before nodded and walking over to Cleveland. He sat down in the grass next to him and just stared down tiredly and just stared at the ground. There really wasn't much to say.

"Do you guys believe in Heaven?" Elias murmured.

The question took me by surprise, religion wasn't something that was brought up often nowadays.

"Logically I don't think so, but I like to think there's one." Warren mumbled in response.

"My parents were super religious." Elias said, "I kinda fell out of the whole Jesus thing because I thought church was boring. Now I'm scared that God hates me."

"I don't think there is one." I said as I put my glasses back on. 

"I don't even know what Jesus did that was so special." Reece added, "But I like thinking there's a Heaven."

I looked back over towards Cleveland and Warren and watched as Warren started to nod off while Cleveland let him lean on his shoulder. I hope he'll be okay. I know how much pressure he must've put himself under as the only doctor around. I feel guilty that I couldn't help him out more, and I'm sure having a baby die in his arms didn't make him feel anymore optimistic about his daughter. Warren's a good guy, he deserves to be happy, and so does Cleveland.

I just want to help them.

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