Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 172

Trigger warning

As soon as Sebastian stands up and says he's going to pick up Emerson from the police station, Remington jumps up in protests, shouting that they can't leave the house because he'll know.

"Remington, calm down," Sebastian tries, picking up a pair of shoes.

The singer shakes his head and rubs his eyes. "You can't!" He argues, "Sebastian, you can't go!"

"It's gonna be fine."

"No!" He fights back desperate, terrified tears, pushing Andy away and trying to pull his brother back from the door. "You can't! You can't! You can't!" He shouts, tugging on Sebastian's arm.

Andy can see that Sebastian is losing his temper. "Remington, sweetheart, it's okay. Let him go. It's alright," he soothes, but it doesn't work.

"NO! HE'LL KNOW! HE'LL KNOW! YOU CAN'T! SEBASTIAN, YOU CAN'T GO!" He tries again to pull Sebastian back and the man turns around and shoves Remington towards Andy, giving the rock star a sympathetic look and opening the door. "NO!" Remington screams, hyperventilating. "NO!"

"Baby, hey, it's okay. You're safe. Just breathe, it's okay." Andy pulls Remington into his arms and the boy crumples into his chest as the door closes behind Sebastian.

"No, no, no," he keeps sobbing, Andy gently pushing his head against him and stroking his hair. Remington doesn't try to dustance himself from Andy anymore. The hug is so warm and gentle and safe and he doesn't have the emotional or physical strenght to tear himself away from it.

Andy guides him into the living room. "It's okay," he says again, "just get it out, it's okay." He lets go of the boy and kisses his head before lying on his back on the couch, propped against the arm rest, and says soothingly, "come snuggle, it's okay."

"I'm scared."

"I know, beautiful. You're safe here, okay? Just come cuddle."

Remington whimpers and looks down. "No talking, though," he mumbles, "just cuddle."

"Of course, sweetheart, whatever makes you feel better."

After a moment, the younger carefully crawls onto his lover, head against his shoulder. "Love you, sorry for shouting." His words are so soft now; a drastic contrast from how he was just a minute ago. Andy always manages to calm him down so quickly.

"Shh, it's alright." He rubs Remington's back and plays with his hair, doing anything he can to comfort the scared boy. "Number?"

Remington exhales. "Thirty."

Andy hums, glad it's gone down a little bit.

"Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I told myself that if I ever got to thirty I'd-I'd kill myself?"

"Oh sweetheart," Andy whispers, "I didn't know that."

The boy lets himself soak up the warmth and familiarity of his husband. "I was-I was going  to, but I just-everytime I thought about it I thought about you and about how much you love me and how much I love you and I-I just can't do that to you." He wipes his eyes and a gentle smile briefly graces his face when Andy takes his hand and kisses his knuckles where the wedding ring is. "You're important to me and if me-um-me killing myself hurts you then-then I don't-I don't want to do it. I want you to be happy more than I want me to not be here anymore, so..." He kisses Andy's cheek.

The man smiles, twisting Remington's wedding ring on his thin finger. "I thought you didn't wanna do any talking. That was quite a lot of talking," he teases, making Remington whine. "But seriously, that makes me so happy to hear. All I want is for you to live a long, beautiful life with me and to be happy. And if I can make you even just a tiny bit happier then I consider my life fulfilled."