Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 152

Trigger warning you're gonna kill me for the end of this chapter. You're welcome :)

The video from Gerard was just what Remington needed. His all time idol telling him he would be okay. He needed that so badly.

He's noticeably more cheerful now, and when Andy asks what number he's on, it's never above a fifteen, which is a relief for both Remington and for Andy.

Today, four days since receiving the video, Remington is sitting on the couch in the bus scrolling through Twitter when he remembers about the stalkers and how he's sure that guy is Holly's brother. He frowns at the thought, and at how Andy doesn't really believe him.

"Why don't you believe me?" He asks suddenly, cutting through the conversation that Sebastian is having with Johnny.

Andy furrows his brows. "Hmm?"

"Why don't you believe me?" Remington asks again, snappy.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sweetie."

"Yes you do!" He stands up. "You do!"

Andy shakes his head. "No I don't. Tell me what you mean."

"Use your fucking brain!" Remington shouts, and storms off down the bus.

"What the fuck just happened?" Emerson asks, startled by the boy's outburst.

Andy sighs. "I actually don't know, but he's just gone into the bathroom, so..." He briskly walks down the hall and opens the door to the little bathroom. Remington hasn't locked it. "Honey, talk to me," Andy urges, leaning against the doorframe.

Remington shakes his head. "No, because you don't believe me!"

"Believe you on what?"

"Well obviously if you don't know what I mean then it doesn't matter!" He rubs his wrist hard.

"Of course it matters. I just need you to tell me what's wrong, okay? What number are we on?"

"Why do you care?"

Andy kneels in front of his husband who's sat on the toilet lid. "Because I love you and I need you. If I've done something to upset you, I want to know."

"It doesn't matter." The boy looks down at his wrist. "Fourteen," he mumbles.

"Okay. Do you know why it's gone up?"

"Because," Remington begins, "you don't believe me!" He pulls his sleeve up and scratches at the cuts. "Why don't you believe me?"

Andy pulls his hands apart. "Are you talking about the man who attacked you?"

Throwing his arms in the air, Remington huffs. "Yes! How did it take you that long?"

"Look, honey, I do believe you, but you can't convince yourself that it's him in case it turns out that it isn't."

"See! You don't fucking believe me!"

Andy sighs. "We're going round in circles," he says, not sure how to calm Remington without saying it's Holly's brother when it might well not be. He won't get Remington's hopes up like that.

The young singer pushes Andy's hands away. "Oh sorry!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you it's him when we don't know that for sure. We have to be realistic."

"Realistic? He tried to rape me, Andy! And now you, someone who's supposed to support me, doesn't even take me seriously! Do you know how much that hurts?"

"Re-"

"It hurts so fucking much! Because I can't live without you and when I need you to believe me and support me on one thing, you don't! It hurts! Andy, it fucking hurts!" The words are practically screamed and he wishes he knew how to control himself.

Andy inwardly cringes at how pained Remington sounds. "You know I never ever want to hurt you. But sweetheart, I'm not gonna let you put all your money on it being this one guy because it might not be, and it'll hurt so much if you're certain that it is and it turns out you're wrong."

Remington looks down, hand meeting his wrist again. "But I just wanna know who it is," he murmers, tearing up.

"I know, kitten, I know. I'm sorry we don't know."

"I just thought that if it was him, then I could-I could blame Holly, because I'm so mad at her and I can't believe that anyone else would be cruel enough to do that."

Andy takes his hands. "Whether she is involved or not, you do not deserve it. You know that, don't you?"

"She always said if something bad happens it's because of me." He's whispering now.

"She's wrong. She's always been wrong. Look at me, she is wrong." Fingers under Remington's chin, Andy kisses his forehead. "Whoever it is, they will be punished. But you can't keep doing this to yourself. It's not worth your time or your stress, honey."

The boy wipes his eyes.

Andy pulls him into his arms. "You need to have a good cry, petal. Get it all out."

"Will you keep hugging me until I feel better?"

"Of course I will. Come back to the bunk, okay?"

Four songs into tonight's show, Remington runs off stage and grabs Andy's hand, pulling him back out with him, grinning. "My beautiful husband!" He shouts down the microphone. "Let's show him how much we love and appreciate him for everything he does! After three, scream you're the best!"

Andy chuckles.

"One! Two! Three! You're the best!"

Everyone in the crowd screams it with Remington, cheering after, and Andy pulls the singer in for a kiss before leaning into the microphone. "He's the best," he says, and turns to walk off stage.

Remington puts a hand on his shoulder and talks into his ear. "Twelve," he says, "love you!"

"I love you too, silly." Andy leaves the stage smiling to himself, watching the rest of the concert and singing along to the songs. He notices how Remington is carrying himself, and remembers what he said about how the only time he doesn't want to die is when he's on those stupid fucking diet pills.

And he swears out loud.