Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 82

Trigger warning (this is set in England for anyone who isn't aware. I'm English so it's just easier.)

The hospital room is familiar. It's like every other hospital room they've been in, when Remington was stabbed, when Remington reopened the wound, when he overdosed, collapsed because he wasn't eating. But now it's not Remington in the white bed with tubes attached to him. It's Sebastian, with a stomach pump and a neck brace and a leg in plaster.

Emerson is sitting in the blue chair by the bed, looking at his big brother with a sad, empty expression. He called Remington but the boy didn't answer, and Emerson knows it's because he's sleeping, oblivious to their brother lying unconscious in a stupid fucking hospital bed.

The drummer is told what happened, that Sebastian was drunk driving and crashed into a lorry, and Emerson can't say anything in response. He doesn't know what he's meant to say. It was stupid of him to actually believe that Sebastian would stay sober. He isn't capable of that. No one is capable of changing like that. That's why Emerson can't believe it when Remington says he doesn't want to die anymore. Because, as much as he hates it, Remington isn't capable of changing so much that the suicidal thoughts will just leave. He's always going to be suicidal.

At half past nine, Emerson's phone rings, and he answers it, anxious about breaking the news to Remington. "You called me in the middle of the night," the singer says, as if Emerson isn't aware.

"I know. We're in hospital, Remington."

The boy furrows his eyebrows at the words. "What? Who? Why?"

Emerson is looking at Sebastian as he talks. "Me and Sebastian, we're in hospital."

"Why? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but Sebastian-not so much. He's been in a car accident."

Remington feels faint at the news. He grabs Andy to steady himself, and the man wraps him in his arms. "Oh," the boy whispers into the phone, "is he okay?

"I don't know."

Remington hangs up. He stumbles in Andy's arms and tries to work out why Emerson would even tell him that their brother is probably dying. Doesn't Emerson know Remington at all? He can't cope with news like this.

Andy guides him over to the bed, sitting him down and kneeling in front of him. "What's going on, sweetheart?"

The boy is looking at Andy but his eyes are empty. "He's been in an accident," is all he says, and Andy knows who he's talking about.

Calm and gentle, Andy takes Remington's hands. "Take a deep breath, baby boy, and tell me what you want to do."

"Think I'm gonna faint," he mumbles, dizzy and confused.

Andy rubs his arms. "I'm going to get you some water, okay?"

Remington hangs his head between his shoulders. "Okay," he agrees, and Andy stands up, turning and picking up the empty glass by the bed. The boy suddenly feels awful. He digs the heels of his hands into his temples and closes his eyes, but when he tries to open them again, he can't.

When Andy comes back into the bedroom, he thinks Remington is just lying back on the bed to calm down, but the boy looks too pale and he doesn't respond when Andy touches his arm. The man dials for an ambulance and observes the boy's hand. His knuckles are freshly scarred and Andy knows what's happened, he just wish he didn't. He should have known Remington would relapse at some point. He should have been more alert.

It makes sense, though. Remington was up when Andy woke, and normally he lies in bed after waking up, until Andy is awake, too. He should have payed more attention.

The two are taken to hospital in an ambulance, and Andy explains as much as he can about how the boy has anorexia, how he makes himself sick and that he must have relapsed early this morning, because he hadn't done it for a while, and that he just received news of his brother being in a car accident. He's allowed in the room with Remington straight away, since the younger doesn't need an operation. Andy watches the doctors connect him to a feeding tube and a heart monitor and wonders if this is the hospital where Emerson and Sebastian are.

He knows that Remington relapsing means he'll have to be put under a strict recovery plan, but isn't sure if that means being committed into an eating disorder facility or not.

Remington gains consciousness and the first thing he notices is the feeding tube taped to his face. He hates that he doesn't know what he's being fed, that he's consuming calories as he breathes. Andy is holding his hand, and perks up at the boy's awakening. Remington rubs his eyes, whimpers, waits for his lover to say something.

"Do you need a hug, pretty?" Is the first thing Andy says to him, and Remington nods. Andy helps him sit up, and wraps his arms around the fragile boy. "You're okay," he soothes, even though he isn't sure that's true.

The boy is trying not to cry. "Didn't mean to do it again," he mumbles, "I didn't want to be sick, it just-it just happened."

Andy kisses his head. "I know, baby boy." He looks up at a doctor who comes in.

"How're you feeling, Remington?" The doctor asks.

"Tired," Remington answers.

"You have anorexia, correct?"

The boy cringes at the word. "Yes."

"Okay. You're going to be fed through the tube for at least 48 hours, and after that, we'll see what happens depending on your vitals. Your brother is Sebastian Kropp?"

"Yes."

The doctor is holding a clipboard. "Okay, Remington, Sebastian is stable. He woke about an hour ago and is in room 176 if you would like to see him. I think your brother, Emerson, is there with him."

Remington is relieved that Sebastian isn't dead but that's not what is on his mind. He's so scared about what collapsing again means. Is he going to be sent to an eating disorder facility away from his family? Away from Andy? "Okay."

The doctor leaves the two alone. Remington realises he's in a hospital gown. That makes him tear up and he doesn't really know why. Andy is drawing circles into is back.

"I want to see Sebastian," he says quietly to Andy, who nods and helps him out of bed. The feeding tube is connected to a wheelable frame, and Andy pulls it along beside them as they walk down the hall, looking for room 176.

When they get there, Remington hesitates. He's still upset at Sebastian for what he said. He opens the door and holds Andy's hand as they step into the room. Emerson bolts up, freezing at the sight of the pale boy in a hospital gown with tubes taped to his face. The sight is just too familiar. "What the fuck?"

Remington looks down. "Collapsed," he says simply, finding comfort in his husband's hand cradling his. "Is-is Sebby okay?"

The younger looks at their big brother in the bed, watching this, listening. "He's okay. Broken leg and whiplash, but he's alright."

Remington breathes out in relief. He goes over to the bed and pulls Andy with him. "Sebby what-what happened?"

Sebastian sighs.