Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 43

Apologies in advance if I don't update every day like I have been doing. I have two books that I'm writing pretty much constantly on here and also school work to do so don't come for me.

Trigger warning?

Abigail can tell Remington is in a good mood the moment she opens the door. He has a glow about him, a bounce in his step, and it makes her so happy to see him like this. "Good day?" She asks, sitting down.

Remington hums, kicking his shoes off and curling his legs up underneath him. "Yeah. I thought cancelling tour would make me feel shit but-oh my God-I feel so much better."

The woman smiles. "What have you been doing since tour was cancelled?" Just like usual, she pours him a glass of water.

"Watching movies, being with Andy. We had sex yesterday. It's the first time since the hotel thing," he says proudly, reminding himself to mention the comments.

Abigail is more than pleased to hear this. "That's so good, Remington, you're making remarkable progress. How's it going with Andy?"

Picking up the glass of water and sipping it, Remington replies with ease. "Really well. I'm so happy with him. He's always there when I need him and makes me feel so safe." He puts the glass down. "He had to change my password to social media the other day because I wouldn't stop looking at the comments under my posts."

"Bad comments?"

Remington nods. "Yeah. They say I'm selfish for cancelling tour and that I should think about them." He decides it will be easier to just show her, and takes his phone from his pocket. "Here," he says, handing her it with a post on the screen.

She takes the phone. "Hmm, some of these are rather nasty," she observes, "wow, some people need boundaries."

The boy nods. "I know. I thought they'd stop but they-they haven't. Maybe they're right?" He takes the phone back.

"No, don't even think about it like that. They're not right, Remington. You did the right thing cancelling. You saw that you needed to be at home and that you were only getting worse. They are not right, not at all. How do they make you feel?" It is always important to ask about his feelings, to give him the chance to get anything that might be upsetting him off his chest.

Remington looks down at his hands. His wrists are bandaged up to stop him scratching. Andy found him the other day bleeding because he was scratching too much, and so wrapped bandages around the damaged skin to prevent it from getting worse. It seems to be doing the job. "Not good," he answers, "makes me want to cry, actually. Sometimes I do cry. I saw one a few days ago that said something like Remington is only doing this for attention. That really fucking hurt. Why would I be doing any of this for attention?" It's funny how much his mood changes just at the thought of it.

Abigail observes him for a moment. "Have you said anything about it to them?" She gets a shake of the head as an answer, and talks again. "I think you should, just to bring attention to the fact that they're comments are hurting you. They're your fans, Remington, they should care enough to stop."

He shrugs. "I don't know what to say."

When Remington gets home later, he finds a letter addressed to him on the doorstep, and opens it, expecting it to be some junk mail or a bank statement. But it isn't. It's from the prison Holly is at. Oh shit.

With the letter in his hand, Remington sits in the kitchen and unfolds it, pauses, and then reads it.

Remington,
I got your letter. I don't know what you were trying to accomplish by sending me that. Honestly, it was a load of fucking crap! You kept blaming me for the fact that you're fucking mental when it's not my fucking fault. I didn't tell you to kill yourself or go to a mental hospital or cancel a tour that, let's be real, no one gives two fucking shits about. Seriously, you need to think about this before making it all my fault.
I figured that since you blamed me for the way you are, I'd do the same for you. So here you go. Enjoy. :)
I'm in jail! Isn't that punishment enough? You're basically giving me death threats. How is that fair? sure, I forced you to have sex with me (don't lie, you enjoyed it) but that's not even a big deal. You're a man with a penis and I'm a woman with a vagina, and that's what we're meant to do. You aren't meant to be fucking other men, Remington, that's not how it fucking works! Last time I checked being gay isn't fucking normal. But I'm not even surprised because you aren't fucking normal.
My mother won't visit me. Ever. That's your fault. I know you lied to her. All you do is lie. Lie and cry and pretend like you're the victim when you never fucking are! Why don't you look at it from my point of view for once? I LOVED YOU! Was that not enough. I was in love with you and you couldn't accept that and now you've ruined my life because you were too pathetic to just love me back. You don't love anyone. Not Andy, not your brothers, not your so called fans, so stop pretending. And no one loves you, either. If you don't love them then why would they love you?
That's why I hurt you. I know you want to know why. It's because you could never love me. You said it, sure, but anyone can say it, Remington. I could say it right now. I love you. But you know that I'm lying, just like I knew you were lying all those times you said it. I always knew you were gay. It was so obvious. Why didn't you just tell me? If you'd just told me that you weren't attracted to women then I would have said goodbye and left, and none of this would happened. You'd be happy and I'd be free. But you didn't. You pretended like you loved me and you made it impossible to love you because of it.
So that's why. Not because you're ugly. Because you aren't. You are the most attractive man I've ever seen. I hurt you because you hurt me and you didn't even know.
So now I will say it.
Goodbye, Remington.
You know who this is from. I hope I never hear from you again. Do us both that favour.