Chapter 41

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Hey! Guess what! No trigger warning! You're welcome :)

User 1: K I know that Remington collapsed but he literally said that he's fine now so why are they cancelling tour again?? So unfair! I'm actually starting to dislike this band because of how selfish they're being.

User 2: @user1 you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. None of us do. Remington collapsed because he wasn't eating. You can't ignore that. He's never had problems with food before.

User 1: @user2 so what if he collapsed because he wasn't eating? He has a duty to entertain us and we've paid to see him do that. It's actually a joke that they keep letting us down like this. All this just because he had a bit of trouble with a relationship in the past.

User 2: @user1 A bit of trouble in the past?? He was abused! Do you want to just ignore that?? Oh yeah, Remington Leith was abused for years, but who cares.

User 1: @user2 How do you even know that's even true? People lie! He wants attention, duh. They all do. He was probably hit once and suddenly hes been abused.

User 2: @user1 this is unbelievable. Did you see the interview and all those videos where he was5 literally begging people to stop asking him about it? He's crying! He's literally in tears. Let me guess?? He was acting?? Get a fucking grip!

User 1: @user2 Fuck off.

"No, stop looking," Andy says, taking the phone from Remington's hand.

The boy frowns. "Have you seen what they're saying? How am I meant to ignore that, Andy?" He looks up at the man with big eyes.

Andy looks at the comments. It sickens him that people can say stuff like that. "People are going to say shit, Remington, you can't let it get to you. You're famous and they want to know more than they should."

Remington knows he's right. He is famous and fans always want to know about things that they have no right to know. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't so fucking open with them," he mumbles, "I mean I love that we're all so close but I hate that they think they are entitled to know shit that I didn't even tell you for months. I wish they'd just let it go." He steals his phone back. "Listen to this! I was there when Remington collapsed and it looked so fake. I bet he faked it for attention. What the fuck? I-what! I faked it? I fucking faked it? I can't believe this! Why the hell would I pretend to collapse infront of a group of fans? In what world would I do that? Oh my fucking god!" He stands up.

"Give me that," Andy demands, grabing the phone from him. "I'm turning this off and it's not coming on until you're calm. Come for a walk or something. You're scratching again."

The boy pulls his hands apart. "Fucking hell," he says under his breath, "I'm going for a walk. I need some time." He steps past Andy and picks up his shoes.

"Do you want me to come?"

Remington shakes his head. "No. Hide my fucking phone," he says, and steps out of the house. He walks across town and down to the river, sitting by the water and sighing. Poeple are walking past and he wonders what they're all thinking, what their lives are like. He picks up some pebbles, looks at them in his hand, and remembers when Holly had dragged him here and thrown stones at him. He remembers how she pushed his head under the water, how cold it was, how he thought he was going to die. The memory makes him smile. He doesn't know why. 

Birds are chirping in the sky above him. He wishes he could fly like them. The water is rushing past him, glistening in the sunlight. He can see his reflection. His hair is flat on his head. He didn't bother spiking it up today.

He puts his head in his hands and breathes in the fresh air, wishing that everyone would just leave him alone for once. Sure, he loves his fans, but it's not fair for them to be commenting shit like that. It makes him wish he'd never said anything about Holly.

For half an hour, he just sits by the river calming down, telling himself that he can't take the comments to heart, and then gets up. When he gets home, Andy is on the phone, so Remington plays the piano for a bit, until he's hugged from behind. "Better?" Andy asks, kissing his shoulder. Remington hums and nods. "I made cookies, do you want one?"

With a smiles, Remington turns around on the piano stool. "You bet I do," he says softly, "what type?"

Andy strokes his cheek. "Chocolate chip, obviosuly. They're warm now. Come get one." He pulls Remington to his feet. "I logged you out of Instagram and Twitter and changed the password so you can't get back in."

"I should be mad at you for that but I'm not. Thank you. Don't tell me the password even if I'm begging you to." They go into the kitchen. "Oh wow are you actually a chef?" Remington remarks, biting into a cookie. "Holy fuck, this is the best thing I've ever eaten!"

The man chuckles and picks a cookie up for himself. "Where'd you go for your walk?"

Remington leans against the counter. "The river." He knows Andy is surprised at this.

"The river where Holly-" he trails off.

"Yeah, where Holly threw stones at me and tried to drown me. That river. I thought I'd be freaked out but I actually felt really peaceful." He smiles throughfully. "Tea?"

Andy nods. "Make a pot," he says, "so you weren't freaked out at all?"

The kettle is filled with water and two tea bags put into the black teapot. "No. I'm as surprised as you are. I guess it's like I was in the present and not the past. I sat there and I thought about what was happening right then, and not what happened last time I was there. It's kinda weird." He finishes off the cookie and licks his fingers. "Progress," he says, putting his thumbs up and grinning.

"It really is progress, sweetheart, wow. I remember when you couldn't even say her name, and now you can sit somehwere where she hurt you and feel peaceful."

Remington pours the hot water into the teapot. "But how come the other day I had a hallucination, then?" He's been thinking about it since it happened. It knows it was probably because he was so exhausted.

Watching his beautiful fiance, Andy replies. "You were unsettled and you'd been disturbed. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Just think about how a few months ago, you couldn't even hug me, angel, and you kissed me a few days ago. That's incredible progress."

Remington smiles. "I actually never looked at it that way. You're a genious." He gets two mugs from the cupboard.

"I know," Andy jokes. "but seriously, you have come so far from what happened in the hotel. I am so proud of you for fighting through it and not giving up."

The boy is smiling like an idiot now. He hadn't realised just how much he had improved. Recovery is a beautiful thing.

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