Bad Obsession (Guns N' Roses: Izzy Stradlin)

Chapter 57: Perfect Timing

This had happened before, but it had ended badly. Sure things were different now, we were married now, but we had still never really talked about having kids. Since my miscarriage, I didn't really want to talk about it and Izzy felt the same. I mean, I guess I want a kid? I say I hate children but deep down I've always felt I've wanted just one.

I was waiting at the gate for Izzy, and soon I saw him wheeling his suitcase behind him. He looked so damn good as usual, and it seemed the Rio sun had blessed him with a slight tan. His skin looked like it was glowing. As soon as his eyes met mine he couldn't contain his grin and he came towards me.

"Hey, you."

His kiss met mine as he wrapped both of his arms around my waist.

"How was your flight?"

"Eh, long and boring. Come on, take me home, girl."

As we sped along the highway on our way home, Izzy lit up a smoke and exhaled a big cloud of smoke that he blew out the window.

"So how was the rest of your Rio time? How was the show?" I asked keeping my eyes on the road.

"Yeah it was good, the crowd gave better energy on the second night for sure."

"Can I just say something?"

I could see Izzy turns his head towards me in my peripheral vision.

"Do you hate me that I left you by yourself?"

Izzy smiled.

"Of course not, Mel. I understand I mean that humidity was rough."

"And you were okay being around the guys?"

"Did not feel tempted one bit by all the shit that was around me." Izzy rested a hand on my thigh.

Thank god, if he relapsed I would never forgive myself for leaving him. I gripped the steering wheel, keeping my eyes dead ahead. I still hadn't told him. I had no idea how to even bring it up.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded and tried to smile, pretending everything was peachy. Izzy didn't believe me.

"Is Ripley okay?"

"She misses you I think. She would sulk at the end of our bed most days."

"Aw, she's going to spaz out for sure. She'll be able to smell me as soon as we pull up," he chuckled, "So what did you get up to these past few days?"

"I had a few meetings at Paramount Pictures, just discussing future projects. They tried to get me to produce some films."

"Ooh, are you allowed to disclose anything or is it still top secret-"

"I'm pregnant."

Yeah, good job, Melanie. Perfect timing. I couldn't hold it in any longer. It was eating away at me and the longer I left it the more I felt like I was going to explode. Izzy didn't respond. He just sat there staring at me and my brain couldn't handle the silence, so my nervous babbling tried to fill the air.

"I know we haven't talked about kids, and I know or- actually I don't know if it makes any difference but we're married now so if we keep it, it will grow up in a secure household. But then I don't even know if it'll work because of, well, last time, and I don't know if there's something wrong with me but I don't ever want to go through that again-"

"Mel..."

I took a deep breath and tried my best to calm my nerves. Deep down I was terrified Izzy would be upset and my memories came back immediately to our argument we had when I first got pregnant.