Bad Obsession (Guns N' Roses: Izzy Stradlin)

Chapter 49: Ball and Chain

"I think Matt is the best pick, guys," Duff said looking positive.

For the first time in weeks, we were all together, which turned into a rarity. We had been auditioning many drummers; some guys we knew and others were absolute strangers. Slash knew of Matt Sorum as he played for The Cult for a little while. I had nothing against him, he was a great guy, good fun to talk with, a great drummer but I knew in the back of my mind he had a different sound to Steven and I feared it would change the sound of the band. He didn't have that loose groove Steven had. I tried to stay positive at the time, as we desperately needed to start putting the album together and get the drum tracks done.

"Well, I like him so I think we should get him in straight away. He needs to learn all of our songs including our new ones." Axl said while picking at something on his jeans. "Are we done here? I need to get some other shit done."

I must have been having a bad day because as soon as those words left Axl's stupid mouth I felt my blood boil.

"Why don't you stay with us and fucking do your job for once?" I spat staring directly at him.

Obviously, Axl was shocked.

"What?" He scoffed.

"Oh, I think you heard me. I'm sick of you fucking off all the time. We're falling to shit here, we've got no organisation and it's driving me fucking nuts! Stay and do your job! We're getting a new drummer for fuck's sake, this is a big thing!" I yelled and I stood over him.

I felt Slash's grip on both of my arms as he pulled me back. To this day I'm still surprised Axl didn't rip my head off. It was like I stunned him so much all of his smart-arse comments evaporated... only for about 10 seconds though.

"Izzy, what is this woman doing to you? You are expressing emotion!" Axl grinned.

I was ready to absolutely deck this dude but I was held back.

"You know he's getting married, right guys? Going to have his own ball and chain!" Axl smiled.

"Whoa, what?" I heard Duff say.

"You are my fucking ball and chain!" I spat, "All these years I've been with you and now you're still not settling down. Stay with us and WORK! Write or sing... anything! Just stay for longer than 2 minutes!" I screamed. "And don't you even think about talking about Mel or I will stab you in the face!"

I wriggled out of Slash's grip and stormed out of the studio. I felt like I was dealing with a 5-year-old who couldn't focus on something for longer than 20 seconds, and I regretted telling this 5-year-old anything about my personal life. Poor Duff and Slash had been working their arses off with me; writing and recording, but there was only so much we could do without Axl as he could simply reject everything we'd created because he didn't like them. We had so many half songs written and we were planning on re-recording songs we'd made back from the mid-'80s to put on the album. In fact, we had so many ideas we were playing with the idea of releasing 2 albums. All I wanted was to work at a good chunk of music. We were wasting so much time fucking around, usually waiting for Axl to show up, and it was hanging over my head and weighing me down. Sure I had Mel to distract me and help me calm down, but I didn't want to dump and burden her with my problems.

Surprisingly, later that night I received a call from Axl and he apologised for being an absent dickhead. He kept going on about how shocked he was at my little outburst, and that he and the guys teased me when I stormed out.

"I'll try and get my shit together, man. I miss jamming and having fun with you guys. Truly." Axl's deep voice poured through the phone. "I've started seeing a psychiatrist and she's really been helping me. I'm really proud of you for proposing to Melanie. She's been really good for you, man."