Bambina

55

My dearest Luca,

The soft breeze played a soft tune as it played around the trees and the bushes, letting them rustle softly against the silence.

The silence was lovely especially when it made the birds play their usual chirpy tune as they flew playfully in the air.

If you are reading this then it comforts me to know that you are alive and still well. Your father and your brothers have kept their promise to me of keeping you safe, away from harm's way. When I think of how you will be able to grow up well, it soothes my aching heart a little. Still, it pains me deeply to know that I will not be and will never be able to stand by your side and watch you grow up into a fine young woman, my dearest love, and I'm sorry.

The sun was playing hide and seek behind each fluffy white clouds, giving people the sun's beautiful rays of warm light. Their silence were comfortable. Each of their presence made the other relax and enjoy the scenery that surrounded them, letting them appreciate the random song that nature quietly plays for them. The only sound was the crunch they make with every step they take.

It was comfortable.

The atmosphere around them was soft and warm that it was almost palpable. It didn't held any tension, it didn't held any coldness or harshness.

It was calm.

As calm as the soft breeze that played childishly around them.

I know that I owe you an explanation and an enormous amount of apology which I hope, with all my being, that your heart will forgive this poor mother of yours. Know that I did not wish to leave you. I chose what I know will be best for you and I'll never regret my choice. I will never regret having you as my baby girl. You are not at fault, it was mine and I knew that it was already my time. Still, I wanted to love you as your mother, I wanted to comfort you when you cry at night and to kiss you a happy good morning when you open your beautiful chocolate eyes that seems to melt my heart completely. I hope that you know that. I hope that you aren't angry at me, love. I only did what I know was best.

It was simply beautiful.

To be able to bask in this beauty and to be able to see it with their own eyes, to be able to feel the warmth of the sun, to be able to hear nature singing.

The world is beautiful.

The world is beautiful despite having its darkness. Despite having its creeps and despite having a lot of bad things, the world is still home.

We can't avoid the dangers that lurks quietly beneath everything. We can't avoid the unavoidable.

All we could do was move on.

All we could do is move on and try to live the life we wish. To live a life where we could get a happily ever after. We know that those kind of things aren't real, that a happily ever after is nothing but a dream, that they are nothing but just wishful thinking. Nobody could have a perfect ending and that's because nobody is perfect enough to have them. Life is full of surprises, life is full of lies and truths that may hurt you or make you even better.

Move on or get stuck in the past.

Feel pain or let the scars slowly fade.

Time doesn't heal wounds but those wounds make you become yourself. Those wounds could either turn you into a better person or it would let you drown in pain.