The Stalkers' Guide To Roadtrips

Day 6: Food Is A Bonding Tool

I pause before joining in.

When Levi notices he offers me a small smile, what I think could almost be a sign that the two of us are ready to move on, deep down a part of me still wants to continue to ask questions, find answers but the other part of me warns me to just take what I can get.

And so I don’t question Levi’s music choice. In fact I do not say a word, instead I focus on the motorway ahead of me and prepare myself for what is starting to possibly look like the longest journey I’ve ever been on.

8:41AM (GMT) / 9:41AM (Local Time)

 

We’ve been on the road for over an hour and I am finally beginning to relax. The playlist has ended, to be replaced for part two – which was only ever reserved for the long drives home where we used to purposefully get lost – and the music is just as familiar and I mouth the lyrics just as easily.

My gaze is focused on the road but I can’t help but look to the side when I hear the rustling of paper.

I look to the side, half expecting to see Levi rifling through my notepad but instead he holds in his hand a bar of chocolate and he gives me a sheepish expression when he sees me looking.

I shake my head and his expression changes to one of surprise when I do not say anything, I am not sure why, we dated for over a year and I am more than used to Levi eating non-stop.

Turning away, I shake my head slightly before refocusing on the road.

After a few minutes I see a shape out of the corner of my eye, heading in my direction. It is Levi offering me some of the chocolate.

I consider refusing to take the chocolate, based on some sort of unknown principle, as if I think that refusing not to eat the chocolate offers me in some way shows that I haven’t forgiven him. But the I remember that we’re both apparently trying to make an effort – that and what sane person turns down chocolate – and so I take the piece he is extending towards me and nod my head in thanks.

I munch on the chocolate as I drive and when I finish, Levi is there offering me another piece straight away. The whole thing is simple, easy and I try to remember if it used to be like that before scolding myself, the past has become a place my mind is not allowed to venture into. But I want to; I feel a need to think about whether everything used to be like this, or if this is us venturing into friendship territory.

A part of me wants to force Levi to sit down and talk with me, get him to explain everything but that same part knows that if I do so I risk taking several steps backwards, and that is a direction I am trying to avoid.

The road we are travelling along is quite steep, what look to be mountains rising up either side of us.

We passed the border a few moments ago, handing over passports to the people on patrol before continuing on with our journey with very little disruption, I quickly discovered that the journey is not quite so boring when I am driving. And there’s still at least two hours to go.

9:26AM (GMT) / 10:26 (Local Time)

 

A piece of hair has been bothering me for god knows how long but I cannot seem to grab a hold of it to get rid of it. I blow upwards furiously, desperate to get rid of it but my attempts are futile and the stupid strand continues to annoy me, it is positioned so that not only does it tickle my cheek but it is also positioned awkwardly on my eyelash and the end of it is starting to make its way into my mouth.