Time Capsule

Chapter 62

Time Capsule

Chapter 62

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Niall...

July 21st

I just wanted to rip that shitty calendar off the wall. The nurse came in every morning and peeled off the page to reveal the new date, but honestly, I just wanted her to take the whole damn thing with her. Everyday was just another painful day of Annabelle not waking up. It'd been a month. A whole damn month since graduation. Since that shitty day where that asshole put his hands on her during that damn ceremony. A whole month since I made the most idiotic decision of my life and fell right into the trap of the devil himself.

A month since I handed her over and put her into a coma.

I hate myself. I fucking hate myself. Almost more than I hated her stupid father and that psycho rapist I mistakenly used to call my friend.

To make me feel even worse, Tomorrow's her birthday. She was spending her birthday in a coma in the hospital, mainly because of me. And every time Melanie came here to see Annabelle, it was so fucking awkward. She tried to apologize at first, but I flat out blew her off and ignored her. She was right anyways, so I didn't need her fucking meaningless apologies.

Everyone else had been coming everyday as well. No one tried to talk to me anymore. They knew it was better to just leave me alone. They'd come in, talk to Annabelle like I wasn't here, and then just leave.

Good. I didn't want to talk to anybody anyways. I guess you could say that I was way past my angry phase. I couldn't even bring myself to be angry anymore. I'd just been stuck in the depressed state for the past week, just stuck in a black hole of pure sadness.

There's the sadness when you just cry and cry, and eventually feel better after letting it out. Then there's the sadness where you're just numb and nothing but a shell. But then there's the sadness when you're far from numb. When you can feel every single piece of pain, scorching you're body. When you feel like you're drowning and you feel your lungs filling with water, but there's nothing you can do. When you can feel the burn of your lungs from screaming, but you can't make a sound. When you can't escape, and as much as you want to cry to let it out, you can't. It's trapped in your throat, and behind the burn in your eyes, but it just won't come out. It's all trapped inside, ripping you apart.

That's the kind of sad I was. I was trapped and couldn't get out. But you know what? I deserved it. I deserved to feel all of this pain and hurt. I deserved the pain.

"Hello, Niall."

I recognized the voice as the sweet old nurse who was coming in to check on Annabelle's vitals like she does every day. She always tried to talk to me and make me feel better. Sometimes I talked with her, but lately, I'd been non-responsive. She was a smart women. She knew that I was always listening to her, even if I didn't respond. I guess deep down, I was appreciative of that.

"She seems to be doing the same," she sighed, "but that's not a bad thing. Even though there's no progression, there's no deterioration either, which is a good thing." 

I just kept my stare on Annabelle's pale eyelids.

Please wake up.

"I've heard it's her birthday tomorrow." I only subtly nodded. "How wonderful." She was trying to cheer me up. I didn't respond to that physically. But like I said, deep down I did appreciate her caring. "How old will she be turning again? Nineteen?"