Immune

Animan

They look at me confused. "Uh, yeah. Duh," Nino says confused. 

I smirk. "Where you gonna feel the pain though?"

"In your le-" Nino's eyes go wide in realization. Adrien looks even more confused.

"What?"

"If you cut off your leg, where are you gonna feel the pain?" I ask again.

"In your leg," Adrien replies.

"But how are you gonna feel the pain in your leg," Nino starts. "If your leg is gone!" We both finish. Adrien looks at me like I'm a goddamn genius.

"SEE! The beauty of weed my dudes!" I say with my arms out. After the two guys calm down, they start laughing. I join in. (Yes, I just spent ten minutes writing this useless scene. I don't care. I spent half an hour writing about weed in Dark Cupid, what did you expect XD I also do not take credit for the joke, thank you Tumblr)

"Okay," Adrien interrupts the giggling. "Okay, back to the real issue here." Nino and I calm down and pay attention to Adrien. "How are we gonna hook up Nino and Alya?" He asks looking at me. 

"Movies?" I ask.

"There's nothing new coming out," Nino informs. "And anything I think she hasn't seen, I'm ninety-nine percent sure that you," he points at me, "Have shown her at a sleepover."

I shrug, "Fair point." I throw another option out. "Aquarium?"

"Alya hates the ocean. She's deathly afraid of sharks," Nino tells us again. I nod.

"Museum?" Adrien suggests.

"She's seen everything there already." Nino bows his head in defeat.

"OH WAIT!" I shout in realization. "The zoo has a new black panther exhibit opening today! I bet she'd love that!" Nino's face is now a bright shade of pink. He's so excited, it's adorable!

"The zoo it is!" Adrien decrees. 

"Can you guys come with me?" Nino asks nervously. "I don't think I can ask her alone." Adrien and I nod happily. The three of us turn to approach the girls but the whole courtyard is packed full of people. How the hell did it get this busy? 

"Follow my lead," I whisper in Adrien's ear. I walk behind Adrien and put my hands on his shoulders. Using all my strength, I launch myself into his shoulders. Considering the dude is like six feet tall, I'm a solid meter above the crowd's heads. "FOrWArd!" I bellow. The whole crowd looks to see me on an amused looking Adrien and a nervous Nino trailing behind us. Adrien takes a shaky first step, getting used to balancing the added weight on his shoulders. The crowd parts like the Red Sea so they don't get smushed by me. I'm not that heavy but I can RKO someone easily and they all know it. I'm a force to be reckoned with here.

A minute later, my trusty steed, Nino and I make it across the yard to Mari and Alya.

"Pardon me, fair maidens," I say in a posh accent. Mari involuntarily scowls at my position atop Adrien but quickly smothers it. I offer my hand to Nino so he can help me down. "Dazzling dames of Paris," I take a deep bow in front of them. "Would you do me the great honour of-" I pause and straighten again. "Accompanying us three to the wild animal enclosures this afternoon?" Maria and Alya giggle at my antics. What? I'm a dramatic little bitch.

Mari stands up and copies my poshness. "Of course we would fair knight!" She curtsies making me smile. Three seconds pass and all five of us burst out laughing. Mari and I have one hand in the other's while the other hand is holding our stomachs. 

"What - was - that all - about?" Alya asks in between laughs. 

I force my laughing to stop but my smile refuses to leave. "Eh, you know me. I gotta make everything dramatic as hell." The group snickers again. "Seriously though, you girls wanna join us at the zoo today? They got a new animal coming in." Mari smiles really wide and nods.