Chapter 49

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Harrys POV

Marine left an hour after we ate breakfast. I know she had fun with me, I know she enjoyed our kiss, but even though tiny, there is a change in Marine. She is more guarded now, afraid of being hurt. She doesn’t trust me as much, I don’t think she really trusts anyone fully.  Before I ruined everything, Marine was much more open, open to fun, emotions. I fucked her up, and I cant forgive myself for it.

Niall called saying he had to see me, he seemed nervous or concerned, so I am seeing him after my regular session.

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“How are you today Harry?” Ember, my therapist asks me. No one knows I go to therapy every week other than Niall and my parents. Not even Marine. They are the ones who made me go after realizing something was wrong with me. At first I was 100% against it, because it made me feel like I was sick, but now, even though I hate to admit it, I enjoy being able to talk to someone.

“I’m fine.” I say in a straightforward tone, readjusting myself in my seat.

“Any problems with the new medication? It’s a lighter dosage so I want to know how you are feeling with it. You know I don’t like to medicate at all, but your parents insisted.”

I try not to think about what she is saying.

“It’s fine.” Plain and simple, because it is, it does what it needs to do, I have nothing to react to.

“Well good. So how do you want to start this out? Is there anything that happened since our last session?” I immediately think of Marine. I get nervous talking about relationships with Ember, with anyone actually, so it takes me some time to ease into Marine talk, though a lot of it is about her.

“I broke up with Ivy.”

“You did,” Ember says with surprise on her face, “tell me about that.”

“Well I broke up with her because she wasn’t giving me what I need.”

“And what do you need Harry?” I furrow my eyebrows. What does she mean, like water and food and stuff?

“I am confused.”

“What do you need from Ivy, what was it she wasn’t giving you? Sex, affection, reliability, what?”

“She wasn’t giving me something I had with another person, I guess, this is stupid, but connection.”

“And was this connection you were looking for with Ivy what you had with Marine?”

“Yes.”

It really was. Wow I am such a fuckup.

“How could I have ruined it with her, how could I have been so stupid to let sex or something I don’t even know come between us.”

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