11:45 p.m.
Diary-nim,
I feel sad today.
I'm sitting on the windowsill in my room. It's almost midnight so the sky is dark, but there aren't any stars visible to the eye.
I don't know.
I can conceal my emotions well and keep them hidden deep inside- well at least that's what I thought.
But now I don't know. It feels like every nasty thing I buried inside exploded, so I'm crying right now. Ah, this is why I love you, diary-nim. You just stay silent like the sky, you don't ask questions and you listen to me well. You don't say anything but I know you understand me. The sky sometimes cry with me, I don't feel alone because of that.
Every nasty thing surfaces. Especially since what happened these days. Those eyes judging me, the words they say about me. It was one mistake that I did, and it became a whole topic around school. People can't seem to resist minding other people's business.
And... that. I don't want to talk about that. It hurts. It hurts more than I expected it to hurt. I don't know what to do about it, but I hope the pain will go away soon.
Anyway, goodnight to you, Mr Diary. I need to sleep. It's been a tough day at school.
* * *
It's the first day of school since I got suspended, and Rohee was right. People were talking about me. I have been mentioned in the school newspaper for vandalizing.
When Rohee first mentioned about it, I didn't think much of it. I never really cared about people's thoughts about me, as they never cared about me anyway. But being talked around school, especially badly, wasn't a nice feeling at all.
Ari and her clique kept on putting fuel to the fire. They dared to mention what happened between me and Ari, which was a personal matter. They brought up Ari and I's toxic friendship and they kept on making me the bad guy.
I was even more at fault in their eyes.
I felt suffocated walking through the hallway with every pair of eyes on me. I could only look down, looking at people's shins while walking. It was still morning yet I already missed home.
I blinked back the tears forming.
If I cry in front if them, they'll add more names to call me.
Thankfully, a lot of people supported me, saying that I wasn't that kind of person as most of them knew how Ari's gang were.
People talked about how cruel and ignorant I was as a friend to Ari more than they talked about the vandalizing thing. They said that they felt bad for Rohee, Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok for being friends with me. I hated that. My friendships are not their business to talk about like that.
"Miru!" I heard a familiar voice exclaim. My head snapped towards the owner of the melodic voice and I cracked a smile.
"Jimin!" I went and hugged him. Rohee, Jimin, and I often video called while I was still suspended. Hoseok and Taehyung would join too sometimes.
As if he could understand how I was feeling, he asked in concern, "Are you okay? People are... saying bad things."
I just shrugged. "It's hurtful. Do you mind hanging with me for a bit before class starts?" I asked.
Jimin's eyes were apologetic and I sighed, knowing what was about to escape his lips. "I'm sorry, Miru. I'm in the student council and there are things I need to handle right now. I really can't ditch them. I would if I could- I know you need someone right now. I'm really sorry."
