Love or Lust?

Beach Day 3️⃣🏖 (Jealousy👀)

5am (Beach)

What did I dooo🤦🏾‍♀️...I'm not feeling regret but I'm not exactly feeling good about what I had done. When I walked in the room last night, Babes was gone. I fell asleep & when I woke up, she was sleeping on her bed. Thankfully my alarms didn't wake her. I feel SO guilty right now. I thought losing my virginity was posed to be awesome...now I'm a girl who feels guilty AND who's inner thighs hurt. I mean...the sex felt good...it felt amazing...like REALLY amazing but like now I feel guilty....but I was too much in the moment to feel guilty last night....

Shanté: *sighs*

Jonathan: Dau-

Shanté: *jumps* Oh mylanta!

I thought he was going to ghost me...

Jonathan: *chuckles* Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. *sits beside her*

Shanté: Why are you up? Go to sleep.

Jonathan: Why are you here?

Shanté: I come here every morning. I'm pretty sure I told you that.

But you probably never cared & you still don't because you got what you wanted without even trying

Jonathan: I remember you saying that you WALK the beach, not sit down.

...ok...I was wrong...but that still doesn't change the fact that he got what he wanted

Shanté: Why are you here?

Jonathan: I wanted to come see why you do it...now I see. It's peaceful out here.

Shanté: Well, now you can leave.

Please don't bring up last night😣

Jonathan: ...what was last night about?

& he brought up last night😐

Shanté: What do you mean?

Jonathan: You wouldn't have done that. You seem like the type of girl who doesn't have sex with guys she barely knows.

Shanté: ...I was horny.

Jonathan: Don't lie to me.

Shanté: Ok...don't judge but I have a bucket list and the first thing was to lose my virginity before senior year ends and I had the chance to do it with the sexist light skin I know and I took it.

Jonathan's POV

So it WAS her first time. I thought so...I don't like that I took her virginity because we're not in a relationship & will never be in one. I don't like to be in relationships...not anymore

Jonathan: Ouch.

Shanté: What do you mean "ouch"? I called you sexy.

Jonathan: Not that. It's the fact that you didn't really want to do it with me.

Shanté: Ok well technically, I did and why do you care? It's not like you wanted to do it with me.