The Bastard Princess

42.

-HIM-

I laid in my bed, surrounding by the darkness, listening to the rain outside and her muffled sobs upstairs. I was tired due to working all day and wanted to rest. I was waiting for sleep to claim over me but her sobs drove all the possibilities away.

I remained awake for most of the night, listening to her. I couldn't close my eyes or even wish for peace knowing that I was the reason behind her crying. I tossed in my bed several times, trying to persuade myself that she deserved it.

She was the reason we were here. Just a few nasty words were far less than what she actually deserved. Though, I couldn't help but feel more disgusted by myself to even think this way. My wolf was mad at me as well.

He was constantly begging me to go upstairs and apologize to her instantly but I knew better. She wasn't the one to forgive so easily. I had learned it from her past. And I didn't want her to forgive me so easily because I wouldn't be able to do the same in return. The damage she had caused was far bigger.

I remained silent and still and tried to focus on the cracks in the ceiling. I kept staring at them without blinking. It was early in the morning when her sobs stopped and so did the rain. I was overwhelmed by the urge to climb upstairs and check on her but I decided not to do anything.

I had to leave her alone and watch from the sidelines. I didn't know what she was like. All I only knew was all the things that she was capable of and generally, the consequences of her actions weren't good. I had learned this lesson the hard way.

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. Before the sun rays could greet this realm, I set out for hunting. I phased and let my wolf run deeper into the woods. Most of it had healed from the fire that I had raged upon it. The fire was very strong. I had drained most of my energy into it and now I was left with almost nothing.

All because of her.

I was angry. I couldn't contain the rage. I had to let it out and when I eventually did, I ended up melting everything around me into ashes and almost losing my sanity.

All the gods in heaven were angry at me for destroying their creation. I clearly remembered the dawn when Artemis descended down on this mortal realm. I had done my best to protest but she had brought others with her as well.

The struggle was very nerve-racking. I fought against them with everything I could but the strong torrents of rain beating down on me had brought me to my knees at one point.

When it was over, I felt like an angel whose wings had been clipped just before falling. It pushed me even closer to abandoning my sanity and raising hell but... all my powers had been taken already.

I roamed like a madman for days and months. I was more reliant on my beast and its inhumane ways. Even though the fire had long died, but its rage remained to live. It constantly fed on the fear of other beings in the forest. Even though it was false, but it still gave me a sense of power that was long lost.

Though it didn't last long.

I was constantly on run from my sanity and responsibilities but the weight of reality was so much that at one point I had to turn on my heels and go looking for them instead. Though I was lucky to have found them.

I then started to cope with the emptiness. I tried my best to fill the void but the realization struck soon that it wasn't possible without her.

But the rage was still alive in me, threatening to show its ugly face every day. I knew I couldn't face her like that. Had I done that; I'd have ended up doing something atrocious. I needed to gain control on myself... to gain balance before I went looking out for my powers.

So, I decided to seek civilization because it had the very essence of humanness- which I had lost along with my powers.

At first, I wasn't accepted because of my eeriness. The humans used to get on my nerves very soon and they still did but slowly and gradually, I was able to become one of them.

Meanwhile, I hunted for her. I had to get to her before anyone else did before me. She was the cause of all this suffering. All I expected from her was to take responsibility for it. I worked in the day while I spent my nights combing villages and woods in search of her.

It took me another couple of months but I had eventually found her near the woods one morning. She was out by the temple, washing fruits. To me, it seemed ironic and quite pretentious that after all, she chose a temple to hide with her sins.

It was so like her; I was somewhat startled to have never thought about it... to have never thought as twistedly as her.

Nevertheless, I brought her home that night. She instantly chose the small space between the ceiling and the roof. It was a place where she'd be out of my sight and the ceiling was old enough to not be able to sustain my weight along with hers... again a seemingly well thought out move.

I didn't really care about it that much as long as she was around. She had to be because she needed to see and realize what she had done.

I thought I was getting there... to setting everything in order but she proved me wrong.

Amidst all the things, I had forgotten that she was a woman. It was in her nature to be unpredictable, to tease my beast, to test my patience, to check my nerves... to leave me clueless.

That's what I was currently feeling – clueless. I wondered if I was ever going to figure things out with her because I hated being clueless... to not know what to do next.

Even though I was familiar with the ugly face of unfamiliarity and unpredictability, I still liked to look away and forget about it now and then.

After hunting, I went straight home. As soon as the trees started to thin out, the huge lake came into view but what made me froze was the stark contrast of her red hair against the blue, still water which reflected the red perfectly.

As the fog slowly lifted, I was able to see clearly. She was crouched over the water to look at her reflection in the water and comb her hair. It was long and silky. Every time I looked at it, my hands ached to touch them.

With me, the whole forest stood still and watched the beauty. With her eyes closed, she ran her fingers through her long hair. Her pale white skin was another stark contrast against her hair. It only managed to make the red of her hair more vibrant.

In distance, a songbird started to sing melancholily before other birds joined it. They seemed to be singing for her, to tell the forest about her beauty. I was stunned. I just couldn't tear my eyes off her. For a moment, I had forgotten that I was in the mortal realm and she wasn't a sinned mortal.

With her eyes still close, she slowly rose. Her bosom was visible to me for some moments before her beautiful hair fell over it, blocking the view.

I snapped out of my daze before stepping out in the clearing. All the birds instantly stopped singing and flew away. It was as if they were suddenly reminded that a tyrant like me shared the forest with her.

Her eyes snapped open as well and she shot me a mean look before walking away, taking the life away from the forest. For the rest of the day, she occupied my thoughts.

...

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