Sanders Sides fluff/smut one-shots [on hiatus]

Demus fluff- Thoughts

I am following lunaeclipse22 on her rise against RemRom, if you're reading this around the time it came out, you can go over to her profile and read the post yourself. This is fucking incest and Thomas and Joan already said not to ship it. People responded by giving Joan hate; they don't deserve that. Stop it, no one needs that especially right now.

But enough of that right now, let's start the chapter. Warning: Intrusive thoughts, sadness

--Janus' POV--

I can't believe it. I just told the other sides my name and what do they do? They make fun of it. Though I suppose only Roman did, but that doesn't make it much better. On the other hand, Thomas is beginning to accept me a little more so I guess that's a plus, maybe now I'll finally have a seat at the discussion table.

I was continued to head back to the dark side of the mind palace, smiling to myself before realizing that I had actually taken off my glove for the light sides. I never thought that would happen... now there's only a few things I haven't done, like making more deodorant for Remus, or spending a week in a box filled with snakes.

I finally got inside the darker version of Thomas' apartment, I took off my hat and caplet and put them on a hanger close to the door. I then heard a loud noise that sounded like something shattering coming from the other side of the house. I climbed the stairs to check the upper rooms first, resulting in finding nothing but a pantry stocked wall to wall with deodorant. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised seeing as Remus can eat at least 11 of them a day.

I made a mental note to ask him where he got all of them and continued to look for the source of the sound. I went back downstairs and check the closet, only finding an extra 5 hats that looked exactly like my own; only they were newer and smelled of a citrus-y cleaning spray. I then went down into the basement that Remus had created a long time ago.

I had almost forgotten that it was even there. I went down a short flight of stairs to find a room lit up with white and green lights, a wall covered in assorted weapons from throwing stars to bladed boomerangs to his signature mace. I remember vividly the time Thomas went on tour to Australia, that was before the fanders even knew who Remus and I were. Remus had picked up the boomerang there and strapped a few knives to it.

The first time he threw it, it tore my cape. I told him to get rid of it but apparently he didn't. I then turned to another wall, now seeing several figures that seemed to be covered in shadows. I saw broken pieces of glass all around the floor where I was standing. The figures seemed to be huddled around something that I couldn't quite see.

I moved closer to them, trying not to make a sound. I got a good 5 feet from them when I heard a ~crunch~ come from beneath my foot; I moved my foot to see a shattered piece of glass beneath it. The figures all turned around to face me and I could now see Remus curled up into a ball, unmoving. The figures walked towards me, I stood my ground as they came closer to me. I felt awful thoughts rush through my head. Starting with stupid ones like jumping out of a moving car, but they steadily got worse.

I felt the impulses to hurt Thomas and the other sides, followed by killing myself, destroying the mind palace, taking over Thomas and hurting his friends, spilling out every awful thought about the sides to their faces, causing Roman, Patton and Logan both physical and mental pain. I had flashbacks of a time shortly after Virgil left, and I couldn't help blaming myself. I felt that it was my fault so much that I had resorted to cutting.

Remus quickly realized that I was acting strangely and reached out to Virgil, hoping that he could help. For a few months Remus didn't hear any sort of response, but then one day I heard a knock on my door and there he was, now wearing a purple and black hoodie instead of his grey and black one. We talked for a few hours and I had shown him the cuts on my arms.

 He had promised me that it was not my fault and that I needed to stop. I remember him telling me that it might take a while, but things would get better. I smiled at the memory and came back to my senses. I barely noticed the figures getting closer to me until one of them put their hand on my shoulder.

I had a split second of clear-headedness and I used it. I pushed away all of the bad thoughts and did my best to replace them with what I know is the truth. My being the deceitful side has it's advantages, one being that I have the clearest sense of reality, what's real and what's fake. I know that Thomas doesn't deserve those things and neither do the other sides. I know that right now, my friend needs my help.

I swatted away the figures, finding that my hand went straight through them. I walked through them with some difficulty and sat down next to Remus, I pulled him into my lap and started to whisper softly that he needed to take deep breaths. I put my hand on his chest and started the breathing exercise that I had taught Virgil. "Breathe in for 4 seconds," I waited until Remus did the same; "hold it for 7 seconds," Remus took a few few tries but eventually did the same; "now breathe out for 8 seconds."

Remus followed my instructions, and I breathed with him. He looked up at me after doing the breathing exercise for about 10 minutes. "Feeling better?" I asked him now seeing that the shadow people were nothing more than whisp's of smoke. He nodded at me and hugged me, I gladly hugged him back. He stood up and grabbed my arm so I went up with him. 

"Do ya wanna get out of this hole?" He asked me, smiling. I nodded and we got out of the basement, and locked the hatch to go down there. He then picked me up bridal style and carried me up to my room. There's no doubt that Remus is the most physically strong side out of all of us. He plopped me down on my bed and sat down next to me.

"What were those things?" I asked, "Thoughts, intrusive thoughts to be exact. They're mine" he looked sad. "But why would the embodiment of intrusive thoughts, have intrusive thoughts" "I guess I've gotta get my crazy from somewhere" He smiled a bit, but I could tell it was a fake smile. I didn't push the topic and instead asked "Why do you have a pantry full of deodorant?" Now he smiled a real smile and said "The thoughts don't like the smell, that's why I eat it so much, also it just tastes good" 

I rolled my eyes at him and asked him "So why was I able to fight them off?" He shrugged and laid down on my bed. I laid down next to him and hugged him. He hugged me back. We fell asleep like that. I made a two promises to myself that day, first is that I promised myself to never let Remus run out of deodorant, second is that I promised I'd help Remus fight his intrusive thoughts. Whether he likes it or not.

WOOOOOOOO

This is the deepest thing I've written about yet and this was just an experience writing. I have one request left and will be doing that one next. Also thank you all so much for 1.6 thousand reads on this book!

BYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

                                                                 -Livi