Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter ten

"Well where is she? I know she had to have told you something about where she was going!" I screamed

"She aint tell us shit last night she was just apologizing to us on the phone. She acted as if everything was fine" Carmen said grabbing her phone to call Alana

"No need to call her she left her phone at her apartment she knew if she took it I would have been able to track her." I said

"Damn you be tracking her too. What else do you do to my baby? Don't answer that I already know the answer to that." Alonzo said in a sarcastic tone.

"So yall really don't know where she at?"

I looked at them both and they seem to be just as concerned as I am about Alana. I started to think of places she would go but my mind went blank. I can't forget her even if I wanted to. I'm bringing her back one way or another. I looked at the clock and saw that is was 11:30 so it was time for me to go.
"Aight y'all I got to go. Monica is about to see if she blessed me with a boy yet" i said to them..
"Boy I can't believe y'all really starting all over again shit Zara and Alana are about to be 20 and y'all out here having new babies.. well shit two for you" Alonzo said dapping me up and then hugging me.
See I knew it wouldn't take nothing for him to not be mad. I guess he sees that she was a consenting adult and that what's done is done. I hugged Carmen and walked out to go home. I guess I can still call that home. It took me twenty minutes to get home. I parked my car once I got in my driveway and just looked at my house. I worked hard for my family and here I am fucking up. A wave of sadness came over me because of all the fuck shit I did. Alana and Monica didn't deserve any of the shit I put them in. I got out the car and was welcomed by Monica opening the door so I could get in. For her to be five months pregnant she didn't really look it like she did with our first two. I walked into the house and the smell of violets hit my nose. Aaaaaah home.
"Hey baby how did it go?" Monica asked me
"Fine baby he was typical Alonzo at first but he eventually got over it." I said right before i kissed her lips.
When I kissed her it didn't feel the same as before. I opened my eyes and she was looking at me like she was the luckiest girl in the world but I didn't feel like she was the one for me anymore. Yeah we've been married for twenty years but it's not the same. Maybe counseling or something. Maybe just maybe it's Alana in my brain. Maybe if I got closure I would be able to move on but how am I going to do that if I have no idea where she is.
"You ready to go?" I asked her
"Ready as I'll ever be" she said smiling
I drove us to her doctors and had Alana all in my brain. Is she safe? Where is she staying? Is she even still in the state? It was driving me mad! I had to talk to her one last time. I have to just hear her voice or smell her sweet scent.
"Baby you alright you seem off" Monica said knocking me out of my deep thoughts.
"Yeah I'm fine.. nervous you know. We're about to start over after all" i laughed
"Yeah you're right about that" she said smiling and rubbing her belly.
We got to her doctor's office and I got butterflies in my stomach. I was really about to have another baby here in a couple of months. We checked her in and waited until it was her turn to be called.
"Monica Carmichaels" the nurse called out
Monica got up and walked to the back. I was in so much of a daze She stopped at the scale so they can get her weight. The whole time I was just thinking about Alana and how she will be going to the through all of this without anyone and maybe labor alone. '

"Dad are you excited to learn the sex of your baby?" the nurse asked me

"I'm sorry I wasn't listening  wh-what was that?" I said

Monica looked at me with a confused look on her face and I matched the look on her face. I didn't have time for another argument so I just walked up to her and rubbed on her stomach.

"I'm thinking of baby names in my head so I wasn't really listening that's all" I said to the nurse and Monica

Monica smiled at me and started laughing. I know from the way she was laughing that she knew I was lying. Afraid to look down at her face I saw her laugh that wasn't reaching her eyes so I really knew that she was about to give me an ear full once we was alone. We walked to the room that we will be waiting in and the nurse started talking to Monica about the baby. Again my mind wasn't in this room and back to Alana it went. Where did she always wanted to move to? California uh no Colorado no mmmm shit its on the tip of my tongue.