The Girl Who Hides Magic

Chapter 23 | Stupid Human, Stupid Feelings

Chapter 23 | Stupid Human, Stupid Feelings

Pauline Cynthia Zunino’s Point of View

I touched my lips as I stare at the ceiling. Kahit twenty hours na ang nakakalipas, I could still feel his kisses on my mouth; it’s such a really sweet and painful kiss for me. Sweet, but really painful because I know that mistake shouldn’t be repeated again.

I want to go home and ask my Mom why she didn’t just ignore my father when she had her training. Kung iisipin kasi ay pwede niyang balewalain ang human na ama ko at iwasan para hindi na maging complicated lahat. 

She had a choice. So, why didn’t she?

I heaved a sigh.

I miss my Mom, I wish I could ask questions and had her comforting arms around me right now.

I heard a faint knock on my door.

Kilala ko na agad kung sino ‘yon.

“You won’t go to work?” Mahina ang boses ni Cyran sa kabilang side ng pinto.

I sighed and pulled my sheets down before sitting right up. “Pwede ka namang pumasok Cy,” I said and I waited for him to open the door.

“Namamaga mga mata mo,” he softly uttered. Tahimik na naglakad si Cyran paupo sa kama ko at niyakap kaagad ako.

My eyes watered as I felt my best friend’s comfort. Kagabi pa ‘ko naiyak mag-isa pero iba pa din kapag may maiiyakan ka. Parang ang mabigat na pakiramdam ay unti-unting gumagaan lalo na nang hinigpitan ni Cyran ang yakap niya sa’kin at hinagod ang buhok ko ng marahan.

“It’s gonna be okay.” He whispered in my ear.

Siniksik ko ang mukha ko sa dibdib ni Cyran at mas lalo lang nasaktan sa sinabi niya.

No, it’s not gonna be okay. I still have a month left before we leave, paano ko haharapin si Warner pagkatapos ng mga nangyari? I can’t even fathom the idea of facing him again, let alone work with him in an enclosed office together.

“I feel so stupid, Cyran.” I hiccupped. “Alam ko na dapat hindi ko siya magustuhan and yet, here I am, crying over these shitty stupid feelings!” 

“We don’t have power over our feelings, Pau. We feel what we feel. It’s not your fault.” Hinagod ni Cyran ang buhok ko, hindi pa din bumibitaw sa yakap.

Kalahating oras akong nakayakap kay Cyran habang panay ang pag-cheer up niya sa’kin. Pinakawalan ko lang siya ng maalalang papasok pa nga pala siya sa trabaho.

“I’ll talk to Warner, I’ll tell him your sickness has gotten worst and you need to rest. Gagawa na din akong Leave of Absence for three days only, so you could pull yourself together.” Tumayo si Cyran at pinat-pat pa ang ulo ko habang tumatango-tango lang ako na parang bata.

Bago siya lumabas sa kwarto ko ay tinawag ko si Cy. “Thank you.” I mouthed and he just smiled assuringly.

Thank witches that my best friend is here with me. Baka hindi ko kayanin kung mag-isa lang talaga ako sa Earth na ‘to.

Now I want to go home so badly.

Hapon na ng naisipan kong bumangon sa kama at kainin ang lunch na binigay ni Mang Nel sa’kin. Ayoko sanang kumain o kumilos kaya lang nakaramdam na ako ng gutom at sinabihan din kasi ako ni Mang Nel na uuwi si Raine mamaya dito kasama sila Xavier, Sara at Hera. 

I don’t want them to see me in this horrible and shitty state.

I wore a short-shorts and plain white shirt before applying some make-up on my face, to cover up the eyebags and the swollen eyes. Pero kahit anong make-up ang lagay ko ay parang ang lungkot pa din tignan ng mata ko at pag tinitigan ay mahahalata na umiyak ako ng umiyak.