Chapter 20 | I Will Stay Away

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Chapter 20 | I Will Stay Away

Pauline Cynthia Zunino’s Point of View

Friends don’t stare into each other’s eyes as if it’s just the two of them in the world, Pau.

Paulit-ulit na nag-echo sa utak ko iyon habang sabay kaming naglalakad ni Cyran papasok sa office ngayon.

Cyran’s words stung me like a wasp. Hindi ko naman masyadong napapansin ang mga tinginan namin ni Warner o ibang gestures, pero pagkatapos ako kausapin ng ganoon nila Cyran, saka lang nagsi-sink in sa’kin lahat. 

We’ve been very clingy unto each other lately. We held hands, he always took care of me, he protects me, and we talk about our personal lives we don’t tell anyone… And yes, we hugged once. Once lang naman at hindi naman siguro counted ‘yon dahil saglit lang at ginawa niya lang iyon dahil kino-comfort niya ako.

Yes, I feel my heart and chest hurting and booming loudly everytime, pero dahil lang ‘yon sa human siya! 

I’m not fond of humans and Warner is obviously a human. Hindi ako sanay na may human na nagco-comfort at humahawak sa’kin kaya naman bumibilis ang heart beat ko. It’s because I’m nervous!

There is no something else! Ayon lang talaga! I swear!

“Pau, we didn’t say you have feelings for him, all we said was maybe there is something.” Naiirita na hinarap ako ni Cyran at huminto sa isang bakanteng hallway.

“Ha?”

He grunted. “I can hear you in my mind.”

Umirap ako. “Then don’t listen!”

Kahit ilang beses ko na siyang sinabihan, he still listens to my thoughts!

Pinitik niya ang noo ko bago huminga ng malalim. “Look, if there is nothing going on between you and him, then stay away. Aalis na tayo pagkatapos ng isa’t-kalahating buwan, Pau, don’t make him hope he has a chance after this.”

May humaplos na sakit sa dibdib ko. Hindi ko maipaliwanag. Parang ayoko na lang isipin… I can’t breathe.

“Hindi naman siya naasa… we’re just friends.” I whispered lowly. “And he’s a human Cyran, how can I like a human? You know me, there is nothing going on.” My lips trembled as I spoke the last words.

Marahang tumango si Cyran at niyakap ako, for no apparent reason. Hindi ako makatingin sakanya dahil halo-halo na ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. Sa sobrang halo-halo ay ayoko na lang pumasok sa trabaho at magkulong na lang sa kwarto hanggang sa dumating na ang araw na babalik kami sa Bleanriths.

“What will you do now?” Cyran asked, worried etched on his face.

I cleared my throat. “I will stay away from him.”

I don’t want to see Warner today. I don’t think I can act normal or pretend that this thing doesn’t bother me at all. But I need to. 

“Good morning,” bati niya pagkapasok ko, his dashing smile shone brightly when I saw him.

Pinilit kong ngumiti ng normal. “Hey, good morning!” I greeted back.

“Is it okay if we skip lunch with your friends today?” Warner asked as I put my things down my desk.

I tried not to look at him but ended up failing badly when I saw his amazing, breath-taking smile. The smile that you rarely see but you know that it’s sincere, the smile that made my heart flutter.

“Bakit naman? Saan na naman tayo pupunta? Kababalik lang natin ah?” I tried to keep my voice steady and normal as much as possible.

“Are you okay?” Napatingin ako sakanya at nakitang madilim na naman ang mga mata niya at parang jina-judge ang mga kilos ko. 

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