1 | Say You Love Me

31 - Aftershock

Rhea

Dreams are beautiful.

They let you live in whatever world you wish to be in with no questions nor objections. You can make up this world full of light, beautiful vibrant colors all around you as you dream of the day you marry your soulmate.

Your true love.

See, for the past few weeks, I lived in a dream of my own until I opened my eyes to a heartbreaking reality.

It all started when my best friend and childhood love, Raj, left me and Sonia to go to london because of his father's job. He made Sonia promise to write to him. Why? Because he liked her. Unfortunately, she didn't love him and disregarded her promise to him so that she could focus on things she loved.

"Maybe you should write to him," I remember her telling me. So I did - I responded to every email and letter he wrote to Sonia for 15 years. He never knew it was me, Rhea, who wrote for his crush while Sonia had no idea about my betrayal to both of them until he said he was returning with his family for a little vacation.

I came clean to Sonia, and had her help me keep the ruse. Raj, however, began to realize how different Sonia was from her emails. I was clumsy; I almost gave myself away in real life and in the letters by mentioning my favorite book and what I wanted to study in college. He said he would recognize me in the letters, but I knew not to get my hopes up because when he walked off the train, the fiest firl he noticed was the confidentially beautiful Sonia.

As the days passed, he fell in love with Sonia while I watched from the sidelines. There were times I wanted to tell him of the letters, but he was happy and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship. As my love for him burned brighter each day, I was unaware that Sonia had her own feelings towards Raj until she confessed to me that she wanted to tell him about the letters before he left for London again

Instead, I told her to confess her feelings for him. She did - at the train station when she kissed him goodbye. They looked like the perfect match, and I smiled at their happiness and Raj told me he was happy for me and Karan.

Ah, yes. Karan, my high school boyfriend of two years. Turns out he was engaged to someone my father knew, and he wanted to use me as a last resort of freedom  before saying I do to someone who used to work in my father's company. I felt myself finally be happy until she and I discovered the truth - I left him behind as I traveled to London for my interview at the university.

There, I met Raj again, and he showed me around London: museums, parks, he even introduced me to his roommate Jay and Jay's girlfriend Simran. They always invited me out with them, whether it was a dance recital or a simple family dinner, I was present. Eventually, I moved in with them. Everything was going well until the day Raj took me to a church.

I accidentally hummed the song he sent Sonia through an email. It stopped myself, but he caught on. All the times Sonia stated something that was opposite of the emails or when she spaced out in certain conversations topics that he and I discussed. I reminded him of his love for her, of how she was the first one he greeted upon his return, but he told me I was the one. I walked away from him, hoping he would get the message. He didn't - instead he made a vow to God that I was the only one in his heart. I accepted his love, and everything began to fall into place.

Unfortunately, our friend - whom I knew would hate me - was dealing with her own sea of emotions. Her father was getting weaker, and she had taken care of him until his dying breath. She has been in a hazy state until the funeral, where Raj and I walked back into her life with grand news only to see death dressed in white.

The dream I built with Raj shattered as she ran into his arms, begging him to never leave her again. As the rain took away the mirage of what we became, I knew what I needed to do - it would cost my love, but I didn't care. I wanted best friend to be happy. As he and Sonia embraced, I looked at him with a sad smile; he shook his head as I slowly took off his mother's bracelets that were resized to fit me, and placed them in his hand before walking away for the third time.