It's Always Been You ~ Diley

Can't Date Me

DEMI P.O.V.: as I entered to my apartment, I locked the door and my dogs came running to me. I smiled.

Demi: hi babies, mommy missed you too guys

As I looked down to them, I felt my heart vibrating. It was running out of batery. I sighed as I made my way to the kitchen to charge it there. I sat by the phone and started to scroll through instagram. It's been a while since I spent some minutes in a social network but I decided I wanted to see what was going on around me. Clearly I didn't really thought I would read such horrible things in my comments. 

"Look at that extremely round face", "2017'2 fabletics are crying cause you look like this now", "not cute at all", "that's why allyour exs left, you're ugly", "you body shame everyone when you should be the only one being body-shamed". 

I gulped hard as I started to feel those thoughts I hadn't feel in a while. It was something I couldn't resist most of the time. I locked my phone and curled up on the sofa as I started to cry. Those words were true, it was all true. I wasn't worthy, I wasn't enough...I didn't deserve to date someone as beautiful and amazing as Miley. I always knew that, but now it was even more obvious.

I sobbed into my hands and shook my head as I made my way back to where my phone was. Unsure if I wanted to do it, I felt someone telling me "don't do it Demi, it's not real" but the bad voices always win in my mind. I sighed loudly as I pressed Miley's chat and wrote a text as tears rolled down my cheeks making me feel the most miserable ever. It was all I could do. I hit sent and read it again as I became a sobbing mess.

Demi~ I'm sorry for being this person but I can't do this anymore. I can't date you. You can't date me. We can't do this. There's no place for an "us" in this world right now. It's never had been a place, it isn't and it'll never be. I'm sorry Miley, but we're done. There's nothing left for us to do...I'm sorry, please forgive me. Goodbye.

I couldn't believe I was willing to lose her without fighting. I was convinced that it was for her best. I really thought she could get something a thousand times better than me. Everything is better than me! Anyone is better than me!

As I dried my tears with my heart aching I thought I fucked it up...

But you did it for her. She deserves better. She'll be better of without you. I said to myself in my head trying to find an acceptable reason why I ended our relationship.