True moon

Chapter 5- Goodbyes

Esme POV

I couldn't believe I was leaving. Leaving Forks. And never coming back. Well, at least not for another couple hundred years. And what's more, I was leaving half my family. Half my heart. Half my life. It was killing me. It had horrified and shocked me how quickly our perfectly harmonious family- which I had given up everything for (and not reluctantly)- had broken. It left me wondering how much of a family our family had actually been. I found myself shocked and quite frankly heartbroken as a result of some of the family members. Like Edward. Edward, my first son. I had always cared for him. There had been a connection between the two of us- we understood each other. But know, I hardly knew Edward, let alone had a connection with him. And Carlisle. Carlisle. The sweet, kind, caring gentlemen had completely vanished. Where once a selfless man had stood before me, now a cold and cruel man stood. And I was ashamed to call this man my husband. My mate. Whatever had happened to Carlisle to make him change character so quickly, I had no idea. But I really hoped that Carlisle came back to normal soon. In fact I hoped that they both went back to normal soon. I had thought they both really cared about Bella. Bella- even her name caused a dagger to stab at my heart. My daughter. I was leaving behind. Without even saying goodbye. And it was there fault! I had never been one to lose my temper easily. I never shouted. But honestly, these two men were ruining me. They knew how much I had cared for Bella. Uet they without a seconds thought were going to leave, and take me with them. and even though I wanted to stay. I didn't. Because my heart told me to go with them. The pain that I would feel seperated from my mate would be unbearable. I had already heard of tales about how mates- consumed with hurt and loss- would be unable to cope and either kill themselves or go back to their mate merely a day after they had left their loved one. No, I wasn't going to be an idiot. Besides, Carlisle was the most important thing in my world and I couldn't leave him. But that didn't mean I approved of his actions- because I didn't. But I still loved him.

I knew there was no chance of my family ever coming back together. It was ruined. There was too much water to build a bridge. Even after a hundred years, a thousand, my family would never come back together. That would take a miracle. And we had already had our miracle.

Bella.

Bella had been our miracle, she had been the missing piece in our family. And even though Rosalie hadn't liked her at first I knew she would have. Eventually. No, our broken family would and could never be fixed. And it killed me.

"Esme?" Carlisle called out, louder than necessary. "Come on. We're leaving".

Leaving. Leaving our family. Leaving our home. Leaving. Just that word brought a tear to my eye.

"Coming" I replied, as strongly as I could, but I was pretty sure my upset and grief was apparent in my voice as I headed from the back garden to the driveway, where Carlisle was waiting with Edward.

"Esme" Alice flung herself at me, her voice choking on her tears. "please!" she cried.

"Alice" I whispered, hugging her back. I was leaving her. I might never see her again.

"I...- I love you". I kissed her cheek.

"As do I" I replied sincerely.

"Promise to call?" she asked me, tearfully.

I just nodded, unable to speak.

"And visit?" I asked, shakily.

"I'll try" she said, not meeting my eyes.

"No, you'll visit me and I'll visit you. You must promise. For me, Alice. Please" I begged.

"I promise" she whispered, but I could tell she meant it. Alice never broke her promises.

None of us did.

Apart from Edward.

"Do I get a chance to hug my mum, then?" Jasper asked.

"Of course" I replied tearfully, embracing him. Even Jasper. Strong Jasper. Emotionless, calm Jasper- was sobbing.

"I love you, my dear boy." I mumured into his hair. "And I'm so proud of you". I kissed his head. Jasper looked up at me, tears swimming in his eyes.

"Thank you Esme" he barely whispered. "You know that means a lot to me".

Pulling away, I turned to Rose and wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, mum" she whispered, apologetically.

"Whatever for?" I asked, taken back.

"For everything. For not trying harder. To get on with Bella. For causing tension. For not giving my bit. I don't deserve your love. I never did." she sobbed.

"Don't be silly Rosie" I said emotionally. "I love you as I always have. And I am so so proud of you. Everyone has things they aren't proud of. But you Rosie apologize for your mistakes. A trait that is truly one I admire."

"Thanks mum" Rose sighed, kissing my cheek. We stayed in a tight and emotional embrace for god knows how long, until I heard the loud, constant sobs behind me. I didn't recognize those sobs. So I knew who it was instantly.

"Emmett" I mumured, letting go of Rose to pull a tearfull and completely devastated looking Emmett into my arms.

"Mum" he sobbed. "Please don't leave". I was crying inside. My lips quivered and my legs trembled- with the pain that consumed me. Swallowing me up. I don't think I had ever seen Emmett cry before in my entire life.

"I love you Emmett" I cried "So much. You're a devil of a kid, sometimes and you know you're 'a pain up the ass' sometimes..." I added, grinning at him. He pretended to look horrified and grinned through the tears.

"But deep down, I love you. More than you'll ever know". Emmett and I clung on to each other. My baby boy. It killed me to see the big, bomming Emmett so vunerable.

"Esme" Carlisle called out from across the garden, a little more softly this time, and for a moment I saw a hint of pain and remorse flash across his face as he saw my tear stained face, but he quickly recovered, and a cold, emotionless mask covered his face.

"Alright, I'm ready" I called back. "Well as ready as I'll ever be" I murmured.

As I approached the car, I turned around and looked at my children, who I would be leaving before. Grief seized me and unable to look any longer, I got into the middle row of the car, wordlessely. Edward and Carlisle got into the front two seats.

As Carlisle started the engine, I opened the window and leaned my head out of the window, turning to face them.

As we drove away, I waved- with a failed attempt of a smile on my face- at the remainder of my family.

A sob escaped my tightly pursed lips.

I knew they had heard.

But no one said anything.

Winding the window up, I wrapped myself into a tight ball and sobbed.

I didn't care if they heard.

I didn't care about anything.

All that went through my head, was they're gone.

And they're never coming back.