Midge the Neko - Boyxboy -complete-

Chapter 78 -- Bars

*** Trigger warning, self-harm mentioned in passing.

Late that night, long after Midge's breathing got quiet and his tail finally stopped twitching, Scott lay in bed awake just watching him sleep.  He didn't want to leave him, ever, but certainly not so soon after the break-in and not alone.  Midge had tried to reassure him, told him that they had moved and had an alarm so he would be safe, but Scott couldn't shake the feeling that their time together was precious and possibly in short supply.

Perhaps it was because he loved him more and more each day, or because Midge needed him less and less, or maybe it was just love that refused to let his heart unclench and relax completely.  How someone could be so strong and brave, yet so fragile and tender he would never understand.  He thought back to him hissing at Olaf and chuckled quietly to himself.

"You are okay?" Midge asked, sleepy.

"Yes.  I didn't mean to wake you up, go back to sleep."

"You are not sleeping?"

"I'm okay Midgey, just thinking about you and how insanely amazing and wonderful you are."

"This seems to be a conversation I would like to stay awake for" he joked.

"Could you be any cuter?"  Scott pulled Midge just a tad closer and tilted his lips down to kiss his hair.  "I was thinking about you hissing at Olaf, even though you were so scared."

"He is a stupid dog, nothing more.  Now he thinks we should be friends.  As if!" he spit, furious.

"Oh God Midge, you are something else.  Don't hold your meeting against him too much, it's not every day he meets a Neko, I'm sure."

"You are probably right.  I will give him another chance but I do not want to take care of him.  You said I do not need to, right?"

"Nope, Erica's going to do it.  Her parents aren't thrilled but it'll be fine.  I don't think you know her yet but she's a hoot.  I met her a few years ago at Kelly's birthday party.  Hey... when's your birthday?"

"It is in the summer, but I do not know the day.  It is in July.  My mother always said we were born on the hottest day of the year."

"Do you ever get something stuck in your head and it won't let you go?"

"Yes, sometimes.  It is annoying."

"Can I ask you something I shouldn't?"

"Of course.  What is it you say?  'I've never stopped you before" he said in a low voice, mocking Scott.

Scott grinned, unable to stop himself even though his thoughts were dark.  "The cage... his crate.  It bothered you, didn't it?"

"Yes."

"Because you've been in one?" he asked, hoping he was wrong.

Midge took a moment to breathe, trying to decide exactly how much to share.  "I was kept in one by my first master.  He liked to have me close by so he kept me in one by his bed.  I was too loud though, my crying, so he moved the cage to his closet."  He paused a moment, waiting for Scott to say something but when he just held him closer, stroking his back, he continued.  "It was cold, and dark and very uncomfortable.  I...  I hated it.  He pulled me out to use me, and twice a day for the bathroom and to bathe and walk sometimes but I was mostly there.  Is that enough?"

"You can stop whenever you want.  And you can tell me anything you want.  If you want to get it out, or just... if it helps to say the words, I'll always listen.  I'm so sorry little one."

"I am fine now.  I have your nook and a bed and blankets.  Life is very good right now.  Thank you for your kindness."

"I'd give you anything, Midge.  You deserve it, after... after what you've been through.  I don't know how to even begin to process how anyone could treat you that way, or how you survived.  I would be, I don't know, a broken shell just cringing and crying on the floor.  I probably would have slit my wrists--"

"No" Midge interrupted.  "Do not say those things.  I do not want to think of you so sad."

"But you're amazing and thriving.  You faced down a dog today!  And you're going to sing with us.  And you're reading, aren't you? I saw you with the lyric sheets today even though you knew most of the words already but it helped, didn't it? I know it's not easy yet but you're doing so well.  You're getting sassy and telling me how you feel and you're just... I am in awe of you."

"I feel better than I have in a very long time.  Maybe since I was old enough to understand the world, or at least mine.  I still do not understand yours well.  It is late and you should be sleeping.  This I am sure of."

"I never want to lose you.  I never want you to go.  I want you right here, with me, always.  Okay?  Will you stay?  Will you be mine because I want to be yours."

"You are sweet and very sappy.  I am yours, Scott and will be as long as you desire.  Now get some sleep before you must go tomorrow.  If you sleep now we will have time for fun and breakfast in the morning."

"There's no way I'm leaving you to eat breakfast.  Grrr"

"Goodnight Scott" he giggled.