Midge the Neko - Boyxboy -complete-

Chapter 48 -- Reunion

Midge walked up the stairs but he didn't want to, he was too scared of what would happen. If Scott didn't open the door this time, what would it mean? Maybe he'd try once more in the morning, in case he wanted him to spend the night outdoors as punishment but after that.... he would know that he was no longer wanted.

When he reached their landing the door was propped open with Scott's shoe holding it. His breathing went crazy and he smiled, then took a step. And then he stopped. He had to prepare himself, this was not going to be okay. Scott had never hurt him, but after what he had done today he deserved it. He felt like a failure. Whatever would happen would happen and standing out here only gave Scott more time to be mad.

"MIDGE!" Scott leaped up from the couch and ran over, pulling him into his arms. "You're safe, are you safe? Are you okay?"

"I am fine. I am so sorry."

Scott pushed him back a bit and took a good look at him. He seems unhurt. "Go sit down, please." He closed the door behind him and turned, Zac coming over.

"I'm gonna go, you guys need to talk."

"I... okay." A huge part of Scott wanted to ask him to stay, but he'd already done so much today. "Thank you so much."

"No problem. I'll call Jake and the gang if you take care of your Quarner."

"You're such a dork. Yeah, I'll call them. Thanks." Once they were alone, he walked over and stood, looking down at Midge. "Want to tell me what the FUCK happened?" He was mad, now that he knew he was safe, and wanted answers. He needed to know where he stood, what had happened, WHY.

Midge said nothing, just curled up tighter. I wish Marley was out here. He'd seen Scott angry before but nothing like this, and not directed at him. He saw him trying to control it but he felt it, it was rolling off him in waves.

"Talk to me. Explain yourself, please."

"I am sorry. I should not have gone."

"I can't argue with that. How did you, anyway? I thought you weren't allowed. How can you just take off your bracelet and leave me like that? You didn't leave THEM!"

"You told me you would let me leave Sir. I thought.... but I could not. I could not do it even though you gave me permission."

"I... I did. I said that. But NOT without a word, without telling me, without talking to me!"

"I was trying to help."

"It's like you don't even speak English. What are you TALKING about? Look, I try to be patient but you never say what you mean. How am I supposed to know what's going on?"

"I am doing my best. I am sorry."

"Why is it so damn hard to talk to me?"

"I do not have much practice. I have talked more in these few weeks than in 6 years. I am sorry I do not do a very good job."

The anger finally left Scott and he felt like a balloon that had been popped. He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. "Why did you leave? And please try to say it so I can understand. I don't care what words you use, and I won't be mad, but I need to know."

"You do not want me any more. I displeased you, although I do not know how. I am sorry for whatever I did."

"What are you talking about? Last night was... is it about last night? I thought you wanted... if I pushed I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! But you said... and....did I hurt you? Scare you?" he asked, his voice down to a ragged whisper. "But that doesn't make sense. How could that make you think I didn't want you?"

"I did want and I am not hurt. I say that because it is true. You do not want me to share your bed. I am sorry I did not please you, is it because... how did you say it? Because I am broken? I can be trained to perform however you would like. I would try to bring you joy but you did not even give me a chance. You are finished with me and I understand, it is your choice. I just wish I knew why."

"Finished with you? I spent all day looking for you, worried sick! And what do you mean 'broken', did I say that? What do you mean I don't want you in my bed? You DID please me. It's like we're talking about two different fucking things, I don't understand!" He threw his hands up in exasperation.

"I am sorry. I do not know how to help. But if I pleased you, why may I not sleep with you again?"

"Why wouldn't you? Other than the fact that you ran away of course. I mean, I'm not the most perceptive guy sometimes but you obviously don't want to and that's okay. You could have just TOLD me Midge. We could have talked about it. I'm not going to do anything you don't want to, we don't have to. But why did you run instead of talking about it?"

"I was scared you would tell me not to leave."

"Of COURSE I would have!!! And then you wouldn't have, right? So that means you wanted to?" He stared into his huge eyes, trying to figure out the answers. "God, can we just start this whole thing over? I'm so fucking confused."

"Whatever you like."

"No. NO NO NO! Okay, I can't do this right now. I just can't. You're here, and safe, and that's enough. Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"Can you please go make yourself something to eat and go in the bedroom? Take your books, your sketchpad, whatever. I just need to think, okay?"

"Of course." He made himself a glass of milk and a quick sandwich and went into the bedroom, curling up in the corner to draw and wondering what Scott was planning.

Scott moved a chair in front of the main door and spent some time on his phone before spending a very uncomfortable night sleeping upright.