The Grasshopper

Chapter 160

“Turn around, Pascal” said Manami. “I don’t want you to remember me like this. I won’t look at you either.”

Pascal turned away from her. Between them, on the red silk, was an embroidered black rose.

“Julius infected me,” Manami said quietly. “I told you that he always found a solution. This virus would have provided him a honorable way out. He didn’t want to kill me, Pascal. Just himself. He infected himself.

“He didn’t stage the accident on the roof, because he couldn’t have known where the glass shards would fly. He couldn’t know where each of us would be at that moment. He couldn’t have known that I would run to him and get cut. Because if I hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have been infected. Julius couldn’t have known where Peter and Eir would be standing.

“When I got to him and raised his head he was still breathing. He opened his eyes and looked at me. He said ‘No, Manami’, and his eyes were full of dread. Because he saw that I was covered in his blood. He didn’t mean us harm. He respected our love. He was a noble man. He was a great man.

“And that is why I will ask you something, Pascal. Hide the truth. No one must know that Julius was infected. Tell Noah to make something up. That I was infected at the hospital. By some bloody bandage that I had found and pressed against my cuts. There is no need for my children to bear that horrible burden. And that’s why, for Peter’s and Eir’s sake, I ask that you bury me next to Julius.”

Manami was silent. They still stood with their backs turned towards each other. They didn’t move. They didn’t make a single move. That is why only Pascal’s sobs broke the silence.

“And why shouldn’t we hide our love, Pascal?” she asked. “Who cares about it? In any case, who can understand it? God only gave us a love this great. So don’t cry, Pascal. Don’t cry, my love, please. I’m leaving calm and happy. Because of the gift that I was given. Because I experienced it. Because it existed.”

Pascal stopped crying. But not because Manami told him so. But because he had nothing more to cry. Because his tears had run dry. Because Pascal Alexander had died.

“You now have Peter and Eir,” Manami continued. “You will say that you will take custody of them as a sign of gratitude to Julius, who took your freedom but therefore protected you. He safeguarded the people’s president, who will create a better world for them.

“Peter and Eir are now your children. Everything that was mine is yours, my love. Don’t let sad tones resound from my little girl’s strings. And foster my corner in Peter. Create a better world, Pascal. For your children. For all children.”

Manami had told Pascal everything that she had. She still wanted to hear whether Pascal had something to tell her. And he didn’t say a single word. That is why Manami decided that they should go their separate ways.

“Go now, Pascal,” she said. “I want to be alone.”

Pascal went to the door but he didn’t open it. Without turning towards her he said

“Alright, Manami. You’re leaving now. And I have to stay here for a while to create a better world. Because that is what you want. And because I always do what you want. I will, I will create a new world for your children. And when they have grown up, when I am certain that you, my love, are at peace, then I will put on my dark suit and shiny black shoes. And I will come to you, Manami. And you will wait for me in our chamber. Beautiful, in the gold kimono. I will come up to you and give you my hand. You will place your warm palm in it. I will hug you, hold you to my chest and kiss your hair. And we will be alone. Just you and me, Manami. Just the two of us. In the whole world.”

Pascal opened the door and left the shelter.