The Grasshopper

Chapter 111

Dr. Palladino never cared about anything. Except for on two occasions. The first time was on that day, when he was the only one not to appear at his wedding. Not that something was wrong with the bride. Brides will be brides: she cared about children, a home, furniture… etc. That is why Dr. Palladino remained alone his entire life.

Dr. Palladino had become a doctor because his father, Dr. Palladino, wanted it. He chose psychiatry on his own, because the job didn’t require him touching people.

Humane Capitalism suited Dr. Palladino. As soon as he got a job at a psychiatric hospital in Capital City, he asked an elegant older colleague where he dressed.

Honored by such a question, the older colleague explained to him in detail how the location and size of the apartment, the car and clothes were very important for psychiatrists like them. Because that way they emphasized the high standing of their clinic, and they assumed the respectable social ranking, which, by the way, they fully deserved.

That is how Dr. Palladino learned where he would live in the future and in which shops he would be buying his car, furniture and clothes. He immediately created a special contact with the vendors and asked them at the end of the season to immediately hand over all the old things to the inspectorate, and to bring and install, assemble, put in all the new things… as it was supposed to be.

Humane Capitalism allowed Dr. Palladino to relieve himself of all great burdens, in one move, for his entire life. But he didn’t know how to wear all that. He spent all his time in the smallest room of his large apartment. He didn’t drive his car but rather he took the taxi. All the elegant clothes, in the right sizes, hung loosely on him. And because of the loose knot, his silk tie draped diagonally.

Humane Capitalism also suited Dr. Palladino in the professional sense. Because Prince Kaella had placed the highest prices on drugs for the treatment of psychiatric conditions. That way Dr. Palladino’s patients quickly spent their meager savings, if they had any at all, and quickly ended up at Euthanasia. The Balance, which Mr. Kaella had created in society, could not support such a burden for long. The high frequency with which patients changed allowed Dr. Palladino not to get overly involved with them.

Dr. Palladino did not care much for cigarettes, whiskey or poker. He considered all three to be implied. This way of waiting for death started reflecting on Dr. Palladino’s physical appearance. His hair had gone white at an early age, as decided by his genes. But nonetheless, its thickness led to envious looks by many young passersby. Dr. Palladino didn’t care to tame it, which is why occasionally a lock would reach his ear or fall on his forehead, unobstructed. His skin got wrinkled, with sacks under his eyes, and his green eyes matured. 

Such an appearance on the part of Dr. Palladino, without any intention, changed the traditional dress code at the psychiatric clinic. The male colleagues noticed that the female colleagues found Dr. Palladino to be a very interesting man, which is why they created a new doctrine according to which the psychiatric clinic cannot establish its identity by imitating the style of stock brokers, but rather through the lucid development of its own style. And the own style of every serious psychiatrist must be wacky. That is why the staff, before entering the clinic in the morning, loosened the knots on their ties, ruffled their shirts and crumpled the line on their pants. Despite the efforts, the original remained interesting to the female coworkers. That is why some of them discretely offered Dr. Palladino their bodies. And he didn’t care to turn them down.

That is precisely when that other occasion happened in Dr. Palladino’s life, when, now for the second time, he cared about something. Namely, an Inspectorate captain asked Dr. Palladino to help him in his enduring and unsuccessful hunt for a serial killer, who left numerous victims in his wake, with a specific mode of operation.

The psychological profile of that serial killer, which Dr. Palladino created based on the extensive documentation that he received, was of crucial importance for the apprehension of the criminal and bringing him to justice.

For more than a decade, the collaboration with the Inspectorate and the creation of profiles of serial killers had been something that finally brought some meaning to Dr. Palladino’s life, something that he truly cared about. While on the hunt Dr. Palladino did not drink whiskey or play poker. He only smoked.

At the beginning of the war the Inspectorate was concerned with more important things. That is why Dr. Palladino went back to poker and whiskey. On one occasion, when he was a little late for a game, one of his fellow poker players said that his wife was leaving him because of poker and taking their children. And that that night was his last game. The other players at the table said that they were very sorry and that they understood him completely. Although none of them really understood why he was quitting poker now, when he could now play unimpeded.

A week later the news spread that this player had committed suicide. And ten days later the reliable information at the poker table was that he had done so by playing Russian roulette.