The Grasshopper

Chapter 71

In the cabin of the spaceship the Grasshopper watched Kaella’s interview, the footage from Short Street, Erivan’s declaration of war and Seneca’s announcement of Megapolis’ neutrality. After that he called Erivan, who immediately picked up.

“Grasshopper, is everything alright with you?”

“It is. I just wanted to tell you ‘Bravo! Bravo! Bravo, Mr. President!’”

“I knew that you would immediately recognize my signature,” Erivan was visibly relieved.

“The end of the Kaellas has finally come! This world has finally gained a real ruler! And what a genial strategy with Short Street, Mr. President!” shouted the Grasshopper with excitement.

“Yes. I had to shed a little blood to boost the fighting morale of our Consumers. You know, you can’t expect a Consumer to kill a Non-Consumer just like that. Just because they are wearing last season’s shirt. The Consumer would hesitate, right?”

“Of course, Mr. President. And this with the schoolchildren! That was magnificent!”

“You said it – magnificent! People are somehow especially sensitive to children. There were parents with children and the occasional baby, but not enough. And they were spread out. It could have gone unnoticed. But these pupils, all of them on that fence, they really drew attention. Now they’re all anyone is talking about. Television interviews with the grieving parents are being prepared. It will be a real success. The Consumers will go crazy. They’ll kill Non-Consumers with their bare teeth. You’ll see, Grasshopper.”

“They will, they will. All thanks to you, Mr. President!”

“I must say that I’m relieved now.”

“Why, Mr. President? What was troubling you?”

“I wasn’t sure how you would react to these events. You know what all depends on you.”

“How I would react? How could you doubt my loyalty, Mr. President?”

“Well… I know how loyal you are to me. You’ve proven that countless times… But still, you’re a Doctor of Philosophy, and I’m always suspicious of them,” Erivan laughed.

“You once told me that you had read my PhD thesis, Mr. President.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Well what does it say, Mr. President? Forgive me for asking you like this, but I’m deeply troubled by your lack of confidence in my loyalty.”

“Alright, I’m sorry. Calm down. It says that the purpose of man’s existence is to serve the leader. But to this moment I couldn’t be completely certain which leader you meant. Who do you consider your leader, me or Kaella?”

“Kaella?! That miserable patsy!? You are the only leader! And not only mine. And not only as president. You, Mr. President, are the greatest leader in the history of mankind. I still cannot believe that I have the honor to serve you. This all seems like a magnificent dream. You are the greatest, most grandiose, most magnificent person that this world has ever seen.”

“I too am pleased that there is a man capable of understanding my magnitude, Grasshopper.”

“I understand your magnitude more than you do, Mr. President. Because your perception of it is skewed by your excessive modesty.”

“You’re right, Grasshopper. I am too modest.”

“And your declaration of war. It left me breathless. And you… and the darkness around you, all in black. Fantastic!”

“Yes. The film director was excellent. I won’t replace him. And I ignited them well, right? When I said that we would seize the stocks from the Non-Consumers and hand them out to the Consumers. They’re going to rat them out like crazy.”

“Yes, Mr. President. I’m sure they will. Genial, really.”

“Well, Grasshopper, Now I’m at ease. Thank you for calling me immediately.”

“Did you think that I could hold out any longer to express my admiration?”

“I didn’t, I didn’t.” Erivan laughed. “I have to hang up now. My staff is coming.”