Thomas's Pov
Dirty. Kissing Abraham, my master, willingly was a mistake. I felt dirty and as I scrubbed my skin with the cloth and water it was like I couldn't get clean so, I didn't stop. Not until my skin was red and irritated.
Shame. To let my actions get the best of me so much that I forgot my place in the world. I wasn't better than any other slave. I would face the same detrimental consequences if found out. I was property and to imagine otherwise was a early death sentence.
Disgrace. My mind was scattered with images of my father watching me. How he would feel to know that I enjoyed the touch of a white man. That I engaged in it even after what we both suffered at the hands of our old master.
I couldn't fathom the disgust he was feeling as I kissed him. White men destroyed our lives and many of the people around us. They damaged, and killed us just because they could. I was a disgrace to my fathers memory and it broke my heart.
"Daddy I'm sorry" I cried dropping the cloth on the floor and holding my head as tears sprang to my eyes.
These words rolled around in my brain assaulting my subconscious. Flashes of what I endured from my past master scrolled through my brain. How his touch would make me want to vomit. The sounds of his moaning as he would pin me to the bed and declare war on my body. I told Abraham I would die before I felt like that again and I was telling the truth.
"Oh Thomas" Ruth sighed coming over and hugging me. Burying my head in the crook of her neck, she held me as I cried.
"Sometimes I wished I died the first day they tied me to the post and whipped me" I whispered.
"Don't say that. It isn't your time" she said rubbing my back.
"At least I would be with my father and he wouldn't of gotten to me" I muttered.
"We all go through something Thomas. Don't allow then to break you. Don't let them win. They will have to atone for their sins one day. Your a strong young man so, I know you'll prevail" she explained.
"They won a long time ago" I scoffed.
"No, they didn't. They only think that they have. Anyways, Abraham isn't one of them" she hummed.
"He is. To get involved with him would be like spitting on my fathers memory and I wish I remembered that before yesterday. It wasn't until I got older that I realized what my old master was doing to my father. To the man that spent his whole life protecting me. The first time I encountered the whip, was because I caught them. After that it served as a reminder of where I belonged" I sighed.
"He can't choose his family. They judge us for the color of our skin. It isn't right but, we must be better" Ruth told me.
"How can I look past that? It's so easy to give into the hate. I can try not to but, some part of me enjoys it. To hate them as much as they hate me" I said.
"I know but, we must rise above Thomas. You can't become like the rest of us. Empty shells of who we used to be. Let him help you" she spoke softly.
"You know that his help has a price" I murmured getting up and leaving. I had to get to the stables before the master noticed I wasn't there. Keeping my head down, I made my way over. As I was opening the door I could hear it.
"Please stop" a voice begged.
Peaking inside I saw a slave girl crying in front of Abraham's father. His shirt was undone and the way he was staring at her, it was a look I was all too familiar with.
"Shut the hell up nigger and turn around" he growled.
Shaking she did what he said. His smile was sinister as he ripped the back of her dress and pushed her against the hay. The girl closed her yes tightly and cried softly. Not able to watch anymore, I ran away. I didn't know where I was going just that I needed to distance myself.
"No. Let me go!" I gasped when I felt hands grab me.
"Thomas" he called but, I kept trying to get free.
"Please stop! Not again! Please!" I yelled but, a hand came over my mouth cutting me off.
"Shhh. It's me. I got you" Abraham whispered softly and at that moment I collapsed to the ground and he came down with me. He took it in stride, tightening his arms around me.
"Please" I hummed laying back against his chest.
"What? What do you need?" he asked.
"Help me, please. I don't hate you. I don't want to" I replied quietly.
"Okay. I'll help you" he breathed.
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Two chapters, yep I did that😜. So Thomas has reached a breakthrough or breakdown. It won't be smoothe sailing but, we're getting there. Abraham's father and that slave girl will make another appearance and it won't be good, remember the mother and the girl she slapped. Yeah. So much coming soon.
P.S. For those reading White Privilege, I'm updating that soon.
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---MissTAYTAY1 XOXO
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أنت تقرأ
Ropes And Chains
العاطفيةAbraham was white and just by the color of his skin he was privileged. He was meant to grow up, marry and take over his father's plantation. Including the many slaves he owned. His life was planned from the moment he was welcomed to this earth but...
