Roommate || Kim Yohan

thirty-four

Breathe.

I was in a state of sleep paralysis. I kept calm, knowing that Yohan was just in the next room. After a minute or two, as though a lock had been released, my body sunk onto the mattress as I finally had control over my limbs again.

My doctor warned me of sleep paralysis due to the nightmares that always causes me to wake up when my body is not ready to be woken up.

I feel like shit right now.

"Goddammit...stupid nightmares." A string of curses uncontrollably left my mouth as I slammed my fists onto the bed in frustration. Just when are the nightmares going to stop?

I quickly got onto my feet and quietly left my room before turning to Eunsang's room. Seeing Yohan would probably make me feel better, even if its already 3am. I entered Eunsang's room as quiet as a mouse, only to see a dim light in front of Yohan.

I shuffled to his side, hoping I don't accidentally scare him because I probably look like some ghost right now. "Yohan ah..." I mumbled softly while tugging on his shoulder. He immediately turned around to look at me, completely wide awake as though he hadn't slept a wink.

"Min? Why are you still awake?" Yohan whispered back but I hushed him with a finger to my lips before I gestured for him to come to my room, not wanting to wake Eunsang up.

If Eunsang wakes up...then it's going to be a huge problem because he wouldn't leave me alone until I fall asleep.

Sometimes I wonder who's the older one between us.

Once the door to my room closes, I wrapped my arms tightly around Yohan's waist, closing my eyes as I take in his warmth and the soothing sound of his calm heartbeat. Yohan makes everything better by finally returning my hug.

His big arms engulfed me further as his hand caresses the back of my head.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a nightmare of him again..." Yohan immediately pulls away to look at my face but I pulled him back into the hug, wanting to stay like this forever. But he soon broke the hug apart anyways.

Yohan sat me down on the bed, wanting to hear about my nightmare. Even though I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't have the heart to say no so I described everything in crisp detail. I still remember it so clearly, as though it actually had happened.

"If you would have travelled back in time, how different would our relationship be right now?" Yohan asked curiously, looking at the end of my room as though he was imagining how our current situation would be if things have changed in the past.

"Well, for starters we would have gotten together much more earlier. Like I would deadass just confess to you the next day after our first kiss." I nonchalantly say, causing Yohan to raise an eyebrow before giggling at my straightforward facade.

"You mean you had liked me ever since?"

"Why wouldn't I? You're perfect, Kim Yohan. You even made sure you had my full consent before kissing me. Who does that? All you ever did was be considerate to me and I love that trait about you so much."

Things went silent again as I wait for Yohan to speak up. I could tell that he was contemplating on saying something and sometimes I wish he would be considerate to himself instead of always putting me first.

"If I was that considerate, I wouldn't have left the room that day."

I stayed quiet, wanting him to continue to pour everything out and leave this phase behind once and for all. This was an obstacle in our relationship. We just need to jump over this, hand in hand.