who am I? (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 19

Zayn's POV

          We got back to their house after I stayed silent the whole ride home. I was shaken up by the whole situation but I knew my dad wouldn't come near me now that I have people that knew. At least that's what I thought.

          I took the cans of paint into the room given to me and looked at the blank walls. I got a pencil from my backpack and started tracing something.

          "I saw him too." Niall said from behind me, scaring me to death.

          "You did?" I asked hoping this wouldn't be the end of everything. He might not want to be with someone who's life is constantly in danger. He walked in closing the door behind him. I put the pencil down and looked at him.

          "I love you." He said kissing my cheek.

          "I love you too." I ment it. No matter what I've been through I still know what it feels like to love someone. I love my mum and sisters still.

          He leaned in and kissed me. I placed my hands around his neck with his around my waste pulling me flush against him. The kiss went from sweet to something more passionate. He swiped his tongue across my bottom lip asking for entrance and I happily obliged. We moved our tongues together then he started pushing me back to the bed. The back of my legs hit the side and I fell onto my back, him falling on top of me but bracing himself before he landed on top of me. He straddled me kissing down my neck.

          He reached that one spot that he did something to the last time he kissed my neck. I moaned quietly then he started sucking it. Little whimpers came out of my mouth involuntary. I felt myself getting hard at the feeling of his tongue swiping over the now tender spot. He kissed back up to my lips and thrust his tongue in my mouth with great force. My back arched and as I made the movement, our clothed members met. Niall moaned into my mouth and I gasped at the feeling. He gently pressed his hips more on to me. Once there was pressure in that area, my body did it's own thing.

          My hips rolled trying to get friction against my hard on. Niall returned the action. The kiss became sloppy and our hip movements became desperate. He reached down to the botton of my pants and I stop kissing him. He's going to rape you. Force you into having unwanted sex. My mind told me.

          "Stop." I said with all I could, trying not to scream out like last time.

            He moved his hand from my pants and looked at me with questions forming in his eyes. "I'm not going to do anything unless you're okay with it." He told me. He thinks I'm going to believe that lie. I shook me head. He got off me and I sat up moving away from him. He reached out to me and I started crying. It seems like I'm always crying now a days.

          "Why do you do this? Anytime we do anything past innocent kissing you flip out like I'm going to force you to do something." He said kindly but frustrated.

          "That's all you want. He told me that's all you want." I said going into a sort of trance remembering the night he told me that, then raped me for the first time.

          "What?! Is that what you think of me? You believe him!?" He yelled standing from the bed. "Why can't you see the truth? I love you and I'm not going to take advantage of you! He lied to you! Why does that mind of yours insist on thinking shit like that!?"

          "He fucking raped me!" I yelled back, standing up. "So many times I can't even remember! Do you know what it's like to have your own father touch you and tell you lies while he makes you suck him off?! No you don't so stop yelling at me like I keep thinking shit about you! I'm just scared that what he said is true! That everyone just wants to rape me like he did!" I screamed I was full on sobbing by the end. I fell to the floor covering my face. He probably thinks I'm disgusting to touch. I never felt clean after that first night. I will feel this way the rest of my life.

          "Oh my god... Zayn I-"

          "You think I'm dirty too. Just like me. I spent hours trying to wash off his touch and it never came off!" I screamed. I was physically feeling pain. I heard the door open. Soon Niall was at my side pulling me into his chest. "Don't hate me! I didn't mean for it to happen! He took it from me!"

          "It's not your fault! You didn't ask for this. I could never hate you for anything. I don't think your anything different than before. I love you." He told me rocking me in his arm as sobs wracked my body.

          "What was the screaming about?" I looked up to see his mum and dad in the doorway. They always walk in right when this happens. I'm an idiot.

           "The fucking bastered raped him." Niall told them. I looked down from them and heard them gasp.

          "He what?!" Bobby yelled. I looked at him and he was red with anger. He wants me to get away from his son now. Maura had tears in her eyes. I seem to always make that women cry.

          "I-I'm s-orry! I-I didn't w-want it!" I sobbed. It was getting hard for me to breathe. I held onto Niall because most likely they were going to tell me to never touch him again. My vision started getting fuzzy. I heard Niall yell my name but I couldn't breathe or keep my eyes open. Then everything around me went black.

Niall's POV

          "Zayn calm down! You need to breath! Zayn!" I yelled. His lips were turning blue and his eyes began to droop shut. My heart was shattered at the toughts of this boy being forced into- I think I'm going to be sick. I picked him up and put him on the bed running into the bathroom connected to the room and threw up. Images of Zayn screaming as his father forces him to... I empty my stomach again. Suddenly two hands were pressed against my back. I turned around with hot tears dripping from my eyes, to come face to face with my dad. I jumped into his arms and sobbed out of anger. Out of sadness. Out of disgust.

          "Niall listen to me. You need to know what you're dealing with." My dad started and I moved back and looked at him. "He only knows things forced on him. If you want to try doing something with him, you have to talk about it first. He's not going to want to just be intimate after the intimacy he's been shown. Be patient." I nodded.

          "How could someone do that to him?" I asked weakly.

          "Someone that doesn't see that boy as a gift. Someone who took advantage of his sweet, forgiving personality. Someone that is disgusting and is going to get the shit beat out of him by me." My dad growled. I put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. He looked at me and gave me a sad smile.

          "I don't tell you this enough, but I'm proud to have you as my son. You're caring and never pass judgment. I wish I could be like you. I love you so much." My dad told me with tears in his eyes pulling me into his arms.

          "I love you too, dad." Zayn is the best thing that has ever happened to any of us. How could he be treated so badly before?

A/N: I just wrote this in class! Might be mistakes but you know. Comment/Vote!
                             -Bri;)