who am I? (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 7

Niall's POV

          It was Monday morning at school and I hadn't heard from Zayn since I dropped him off at his house on Friday. I really thought he had a good time. I mean, he was happy and told me he had fun. But that's just how Zayn is. Mysterious. He never let's you know what he is thinking or how he actually feels. That's one of the many reasons I'm utterly devoted to get to know this boy that I think I'm in love with.

          I was walking to my first class of the day when I saw him limping down the hall. He looked like he was sick. Like the flu or something. His normally caramel colored brown eyes were red rimmed and dark. His bronze skin was now a pale shade and his face almost looked green. He looked sick to his stomach so I rushed over to him. His limp was worse than Friday, but he had no new bruses on his face that's good.

          "Zayn! Mate, you don't look so well." I said and with that he opened his mouth, his eyes went wide and he gripped his stomach. I rushed him to the side of the hall into the boys bathroom where he barley made it to the toilet before he threw up.

          "Shhh, I'm here for you don't worry." I cooed rubbing slow circles in his back. He was reaching into the toilet and me, being the creep I am wondering what had made him sick, had to see if he even had anything coming out of him. I looked and only saw white stuff. That was weird, I couldn't think of anything white you would eat other than frosting or milk and I was sure he wouldn't eat that.

          Once he was done he started crying silently. "Hey, Zayn your okay I'm here I can take you to my house or yours a-"

          "No! I don't want to go home! No! Don't make me please! You promised!" I was cut off by Zayn screaming holding onto my shirt and looking at me with scared eyes. I was so confused at this point. What does this have to do with what I promised? I chose now wouldn't be a good time to question him considering he nearly chocked out his intestins.

          "I'll take you to my house then. I remember what I promised you, but I have no idea what is going on. But for now, let's just get you out of here." I grabbed for his hand to help him up, but he flinched away. Hurt was what I felt but I replaced it with a smile and let him get up on his own.

          That turned out to be more difficult than I expected. He grabbed the toilet and paper despencer and got up with shaking legs, grunting in pain the whole time. It was hard to watch but I knew he didn't want to be touched for whatever reason that was.

          "I'm really sorry." Zayn told me sadly.

          "Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong."

          "I did though. I just... I'm sorry I'm taking up your time."

           "What? You aren't taking up my time. Zayn, I love spending time with you. Obviously your sick so I'm going to take care of you. Alright?" I was confused to why he was apologizing, but let it go... for now. "You can lean on me if you need help. Your limp is pretty bad. What did you do?"

          "You don't want to know." He mumbled with a hint of anger in his voice. "Also you don't want to touch me. I'm disgusting." And he walked out of the bathroom. How is he disgusting? I followed him and soon led him to my car. He got in and shifted so he was sitting sideways kind of leaning on his right side not directly on his bum. This was weird. I can only think of one reason he would sit like that. That is because he took a big shit or has diarrhea or something. I wrinkled up my nose at my thoughts. If anyone is disgusting it's me.

 
Zayn's POV

          Friday night wasn't the only time my father raped me. I hate that word. Rape. It sounds gross and scary. And that's what it is. Everytime it would get worse and worse. This morning, right before school, he made me suck him off and made sure I swallowed. He threatened if I told anyone he would kill me. I still tried fighting him off every time but it was no use. My arse hurt like hell and I just felt like I was going to be sick anytime I thought of the events that occurred over the weekend. I started cutting again. It was the only way to keep my mind off of the other things that were happening. It was the pain I deserved and could control. Over all, my life was just gong in a downward spiral. No away to get out. Only if it wasn't for the blue eyed Irish boy. He makes me strong. Even without knowing he does. I think of him when my father is pounding his cock into me. I think of his laugh and smile. The way he always makes me feel safe. Thoughts of him make it easier to endure the pain. He promised I wouldn't get hurt. He's kept it.

          Once we arrived at his home I couldn't get over the size if it. It was huge compared to mine. It was a nice brick house with balconies and flowers everywhere. Just the place I imagined he would live. He must have noticed my gawking and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. Something I noticed he does when he gets nervous.

          "It's kinda big. But really it's just a normal house." He told me walking us uo to his front door. When we were inside it was just as nice. Expensive furniture and art work. The place was spotless and overall just beautiful. "My dad's not home so don't worry about getting in trouble. Want to go upstairs to my room?" I nodded and started limping up the stairs. I stopped half way because I was in too much pain to continue. When you have been fucked over fifteen times in three days I guess it takes a toll on your body.

            "Um Niall?" I asked. It came out sounding very pained. He quickly turned around seeing me clinging to the railing. "Can I have some help up the rest of the way."

          "Sure. But uh... never mind." He came over to me and looked at me asking if I was okay. I nodded and he wrapped his arm around my waste. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach. We kept walking up the stairs but I could only imagine the thoughts of my father wrapping his arm around my waste as I tried to crawl away from him.

          "You okay? You're not gunna get sick on me are you?" Niall asked bringing me out of my memories. I nodded and reminded myself it was Niall touching me. Someone sweet and caring.

          We got into his room and I couldn't help but notice the posters of boybands around his room. I smiled because this boy was too much. He went to sit on his bed that was a Navy blue color and patted a spot next to him. I went over and sat. Once I did he reached over and placed my hands in his. I wanted to pull away because my hands had touched my father when he held a knife to my throat telling me to jerk him off. I pushed the toughts aside and didn't move my hands from Niall's. I enjoyed the feeling of Niall's comforting touch. His warmth.

            "You kinda owe me an explication, you know? I don't mind you coming home with me, but like why not your house? Why are you always hurt? Where do you get these bruses from? Your limp? Why you got sick when you obviously ate nothing. Zayn, I know nothing about you. The real you I mean. You have to believe me when I say I want to know. I care about you and if something is going on that I can help, I will." Niall told me sternly. He was on the verge of tears and I knew I had to tell him at least somethings. Not about my father's rapes and beatings. Those are going to be my secrets until the day I die. But I can tell him about my mom and sisters. I can tell him about bullies. I can even tell him I'm gay. Anything to make him happy. That's all I want. To make my Niall happy.

          "Zayn, who are you? I want to know."

          "I don't even remember." And that's the truth. I can only tell what has been done to me. But I don't know if I'm a happy person or if I'm a good Muslim boy like my mom raised me or if I'm just another another abused boy. "Niall, after all that's happened in my life I really don't remember who I am."

A/N so that's a chapter! I'm currently in New Your so that's why I haven't updated recently. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading. Vote/comment! Plus the pic on the side is cute! I feel like these chapters are kinda sad so imma make yall happy! Haha

                          -Bri ;)