The Stalkers' Guide To Roadtrips

Before

She slides into the seat next to me with a smile on her face.

“Hey guys,” she greets warmly, “how are you?”

Rosie and I both turn to look at her with expressions of annoyance on our faces before Rosie hands her the tour dates.

“I know,” Elise says, “I saw them this morning, it’s a pain isn’t it.”

My brain at this moment is very confused. Her reaction would be understandable if, for example, she didn’t like Blakely half as much as we did. But the fact that is that yesterday El spent ten minutes discussing Dexter Blakely’s stubble with me – which I am aware is not exactly normal within itself – and then got all territorial when I tried to agree with her. Lesson 1 of being friends with a fangirl: never say anything complimentary or insulting about their fave; you have to stay completely neutral on the matter at all times.

“Why are you so unbothered?”

“Because I have a plan.”

“What kind of plan?” I ask warily.

At the moment, I can see no feasible way of getting to see them. The problem with having parents that expect a lot from you is well... having parents that expect a lot from you and therefore going to a concert on a school night in a venue two hours away are not exactly things that are okay with them.

“It’s hopeless El,” I continue.

“Think again,” she tells me, “because unlike Rosie and you, who just immediately assumed it was the end of everything I did some more research.”

I would like to point out to El that I only found out about the dates five minutes ago, and therefore I’m pretty sure that I’m entitled to still be reacting in the way I am. Rosie, maybe not so much. But before I can point this out to Elise she is passing me another piece of paper with yet more dates on it.

“These are the European tour dates,” I point out.

“No shit Sherlock.”

“Well I’m sorry,” I say defensively, “but the last time I checked we lived in England, and not mainland Europe.”

“I know that,” Elise replies.

“Therefore there is no way that we can go to Europe to see the band.”

“But look at the dates,” Elise tells me.

“Okay, so they’re after exams,” Rosie says, “but that doesn’t help that much. What are we going to do, fly out to France for a weekend to watch Blakely play?”

“Not quite,” El says, “I was thinking more about what we all said we wanted to do in our summer before University, you know, the whole big adventure thing.”

“What do you mean?” I reply, “I hardly think that going to watch a band perform live – no matter how amazing they are – counts as a big adventure.”

“Let me finish,” Elise scolds teasingly, “I was thinking what about a road trip, around Europe; we could use their tour schedule as a route and go to the concerts.”

I let the idea sink in for a few moments, it briefly seems possible, achievable, amazing and then all the problems with the idea begin to appear and I shake my head, the smile falls from El’s face.

“We’ll never be able to afford it,” Rosie points out, voicing my thoughts.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” El tells us, “are you guys forgetting about the guilt money.”

The guilt money is what El ‘affectionately’ calls the money her dad sends her every year on her birthday and at Christmas to apologise for being absent for the majority of her life. I’m not exactly sure exactly how much El has saved up over the years; all I know is that so far she has refused to spend any of it.