he's is graduating soon and im heart broken. it's not that i'm upset he's leaving school, well i am, it's just that i'm probably gonna see him maybe once a month.
and i think i'm in love with him. i'm not in love with the idea of him or the idea of him being my boyfriend, i love him. sure he's not the most attractive person but i love his personality so much that even when i hear his voice or hear his laugh i can't help but smile. and i'm gonna miss that.
i'm gonna miss him doing that stupid hand thing with the fake imaginary can of dip in his hand down the hallway. i'm gonna miss him randomly screaming and yelling. i'm gonna miss him smiling every time he sees me and telling me 'i love you' as loud as he can not caring how many people are around. i'm gonna miss watching him run up and down the sidelines waiting to go in and play the only thing that can actually hold his attention.
god put him in my life for a reason, we became so close for a reason. i spent 4 days with him and that's how long it took for me to fall in love with him. and now here i am crying while confessing my love for someone who will never love me back.
i don't even know how to feel about the whole thing anymore. in the back of my mind i have a small hope god will make us cross paths again in the future, when i'm older and actually have a chance, i just want him to give me a chance. i cant help but think about him all the time and with my friends he's all i talk about, i can't help but feel as if i'm being annoying. every time i look at him i have to make myself look away or i catch myself staring.
once he graduates he'll move on and go to college, probably find someone else and date her for a while. they'll break up because he doesn't know what he wants and now is finally 21, he can do whatever he wants legally now. he won't have a single thought about me while i stay at school falling behind on my school work because i can't get him out of my head. he'll graduate college get a job and i'll become a senior in high school, he'll continue to not have a second thought about me but watch me grow as i post new instagram pictures and have a streak with him on snapchat.
when it's finally time for me and my classmates to graduate, he's gonna be the first person on my invitation list. he'll get the card and i'll ask him to come to my graduation. he'll realize it's the first time he's genially thought about me or even seen me in years. he'll come to my graduation and watch me walk across the stage like i will i'm just a few months, only he won't be crying, once again i will. because once again even though i'm still in love with him and everything about him still is amazing and only continues to get even more amazing as he gets older, i'm still just his 'little sister' and that's all i'll ever be.
