I think I like girls, I think I might have Social Anxiety, and my nightmares are filled with paranoia driven circumstances. Some days I stare at the scissors in my craft drawer and just... Think. Sometimes I snap rubber bands on my wrists until I can't focus on my own thoughts anymore. Sometimes I dig my nails into my arms to keep myself from thinking. Having people behind me makes my heart speed up, having people look at me makes me curl up, and I can't speak in front of crowds. In seventh grade I spoke in front of 900+ people, televised. But now, as a freshman, I couldn't bring myself to give a speech in an English class with thirty kids in it. I "went to the bathroom" and promptly counted down from 100. At the beginning of the year I thought I was pansexual? I told a bunch of people, my parents found out and didn't necessarily APPROVE. They didn't DISSAPROVE, but it wasnt supportive and I cried for hours. I was mortified for months, and I think that's what did it? Constantly thinking someone in the hall is looking at ME, talking about ME, and whispering about ME. They say Social Anxiety stems from events, often in highschool, so maybe that was it. But I went from bubbly introvert to MEGA INTROVERT in like a few months. Anyhow, those are my confessions.
