Things That Were Never Meant: UnOrdinary (Arlo x John)

Chapter 15

There was peace for John the whole week, other than Arlo leaving a drink in front of his dorm every single day.

Although he supposed that it's better than the blond coming here and forcing him on a conversation.

Still, he drinks every drink that Arlo gives, not wanting it to go to waste.

Or maybe, he was hoping that Arlo would poison it someday, that he really hated John to the point of wanting to kill, that everything that he have said about having feelings for John was just a trap.

Everything was peaceful, no one was hurting him and Seraphina anymore, and Arlo wasn't pestering him. He could finally live a normal life, away from the rankings, away from the pressure, and away from the pain.

This is happiness isn't it? He got what he wanted. He have Sera as a friend, and no one was hurting him anymore.

But... If this is happiness, why does John kept on spacing out during random times throughout the day? Why was it so difficult to sleep at night and, why does it still ache?

Even Sera was alarmed for him. Even if he laughs and smiles in front of her, she knew that John isn't fine. She doesn't ask him again about what have really happened, but he knew that his best friend wanted to know.

John wished he could told her everything, but he can't-- He couldn't. If he vent everything to her, the tears might just fall again.

So instead, he continues what he's doing, as if nothing have happened to him at all. He tries to forget, and he convinces himself that the events never happened.

That it was just all in his mind, that he would be fine and...

He doesn't deserve to be happy.

"John, um, you dropped this!" It was Remi, handing him one of his notebooks.

The dark haired man snatched it on her hands with a speed, and if made the pink haired girl frowned a bit.

He had just been sitting alone at the cafeteria, it's just what he does for the past few days when Seraphina wasn't with him. Although they were at the same grade level, it's not like they have the exact same schedule. They share the same schedule mostly though, and for that, John was already glad.

Lately though, Remi always comes here to bother him, picking up his dropped notebook every time, then, attempting to start another conversation with him.

"It's lunch now, aren't you going to eat?" Remi asked curiously, sitting in front of him.

"Leave."

"No! You look like you could use a friend."

"You're not my friend." John replied, "If you think that befriending me would make you any different from any other high tiers, then you're wrong. I don't want your charity. Now quit playing a saint when your real intention was just to feel superior just like anyone else."

John glared right through her eyes, usually, it was enough to make her leave, but this time, she still didn't stood up.

She felt guilty although she wasn't the one who hurt him. She felt guilty even if she didn't do anything, and because she really didn't do anything while low tiers like John are getting hurt. She would've done something, but she's just unaware of what was happening behind her back.

Until it just reached to this point, when it was already too late.

Remi wanted to explain everything, and tell him that he was wrong. But despite of what she wanted to tell him, no words came into her mouth. John wouldn't believe her, and she knew that.

And unknown to her, her presence was already making him very uncomfortable. Right now, she was just staring at him, yet the dark haired man already felt so exposed.

"Are you deaf? I told you to leave." John glared at her again.

"The cafeteria is full." she reasoned, "Where do you expect me to sit?"

"Anywhere else but here."

"I'm not leaving!" Remi was stubborn, but she it's not like John owns the canteen.

"Then I will." John stood up, turning to leave.

Remi stood up as well, rushing over him, which made the dark haired man annoyed.
She was just as stubborn as the blond, and John hated it.

He doesn't want to hope again, he doesn't want to hope like he did when Arlo first showed kindness to him.

"Quit following me."

"You're not the boss of me!"

John was getting irritated with her presence. It's obvious that wants something from him, and if giving it would make her stop, then John would.

Annoyed, the dark haired man grabbed her on her wrist, ignoring her words as he continued to drag her towards an empty room.

"You don't have to keep acting like you're concerned. What do you want from me, Remi?"

"I just want to be friends--"

"Friends? Cut that crap. I know that it isn't really what you want." John took a small step towards her, there was something dangerous about his eyes, and it made Remi back-away every step the dark haired man took.

"Do you want to humiliate me too?" there was another step, and Remi felt her back hitting the wall, "Do you want me to be your dog, do you want me to follow you around?"

"No-!"

"Do you want to make yourself feel like a saint by throwing me your pity? Or..." before she knew it, John had his hand placed under her chin. His eyes looked dark, and it the coldness of it made her frozen in place, "Do you want my body?"

John was slapped hard by the pink haired girl.

Remi felt so mad and insulted, and at the same time, it made her feel something other than rage for John.

Pity

"Not everyone is the same! Why do you expect everyone to have any ill intention towards you?!"

With that, Remi pushed John away, rushing out as she left John alone in the room.

The dark haired man just remained there, feeling disgusted with how he just acted towards Remi. He felt so messed up, and he felt so lost. He felt so filthy, and he felt like a monster.

What do you want me to expect after what Arlo did? 

He was fucked up. Everyone fucked him up, but it was Arlo who fucked him up the most.

Does Remi really expect him to trust after everything that had happened to him?

Does Arlo really expect him to forgive when he couldn't even trust anyone at all?

When he could no longer stare at his own reflection in the mirror? When he felt so uncomfortable with their stares? When a single touch reminds him of everything? When he finds it difficult to sleep at night, and, when he couldn't even love himself anymore?