Cold Comfort [Lesbian Story ]

Chapter 28

"Frightened! I was freaking scared of you not loving me!" l shouted,the little talk turning into a fight. "You know what's funny the fact that I always thought that you didn't love me yet l was still scared of ever confirming it. "

"Am sorry. Bu.."

"No. You don't get to say you sorry. This tortured me for days,months. Am even scared of you right now. "

She moved closer trying to hug me. Tears in her eyes. This the first time I've ever seen her cry.

"Don't touch me. " l was so angry, so confused, so disappointed.

"H...how could you do something like this to your own daugh...to your own daughter." l was crying too.

"Billie listen to me. Please. "

"Get out...get out.....l said get out of my room Mum. "

~~~

It's not that I overreacted. Okay. I may have a little. But knowing the truth and actually finding out that it's true, is the worst feeling.

When I was ten I was involved in an accident and it was bad that I forgot all of my childhood memories. I'd hear stories of how I was such a joyful kid and all and I'd wonder why I couldn't recall.

A few months after the accident I had a small panic attack and my mum took me to the hospital. She was then told it was caused by the accident and for a while I will be having small attacks. She was also advised that l should have therapy since it would help me remember my old life. As a kid that is.

The therapy was suppose to help me in two ways. Reduce the panic attacks and also bring my memories back. But my mum decided otherwise. She didn't want me to remember my childhood because Dime was a part of it.

We we're childhood friends and at some point we actually told our parents we would marry each other when we grew up. Lol. I didn't even know I had a wife already.

Also the fact that she always acted so mean towards me was because she was also advised to show me a lot of affection since that would also help with the memory. Apparently my mum was my favorite as a kid. But she  decided otherwise. She really didn't want me as a lesbian.

Finding about all of this was not something I was prepared for. I mean I was only ten. My mum shouldn't have made such a decision. I feel betrayed.

Funny part is I'm still a lesbian.

Dime. No wonder she felt familiar. She was my childhood lover. That sounds wrong. But you get it.

Ugh! It's too overwhelming. Should I leave and look for her or should I just let them past remain in the past.

But I still like her. A lot.

"Hey." Kris walked into my room.

"Hey. Did you know about all of this? "

"I knew about the accident nothing else. Am sorry. "

"It's okay. I'm leaving. I'll see you later. "

I got up and went to Dime's house. She's also going to get a little of this anger thrown at her.

"Hey. Is Dime around? "

"Yes...Dimeee. Tama...Billy's at the door. "Her little sister called

"Come on in. "

"Hey. " She looked shocked then worried,"what's wrong? "

"Ummm...hey.. I need to talk to you. Privately if you don't mind. "

"Sure. Let's go to my room. "

"You knew me from the start?" I didn't think I needed to waist time.

"What exactly do you mean? "

"You we're born in this very town and you grew up here." I paused to look at her, "You knew me as a child."

"Ummm.... Yeah?"

"Why didn't you tell me? "

"You acted like you didn't know me so I was confused?" She was giving me this look.

"I'm so done with lies please just tell me the truth." I sounded frustrated.

"I was for real confused for a while and later got a call from you mum saying I should leave the past in the past if I didn't want trouble. "

"So you left it at that?"

"Yeah. She said if by any chance you we're to remember anything from the past then you would get a mental breakdown or something close to that. "

I chuckled and sat on her bed.

"I like you... " I looked at her then back at my hands, "still."

"I know,"She sighed and sat in front of me, I looked at her confused, "I'm sorry I didn't try my best. I know that it's a shitty excuse but I was afraid of losing you completely. "

"I was lost already." I chuckled. It did sound funny.

"That's not funny." She said a bit too serious.

"I know but I'm way too exhausted to stay serious or mad. Is that the reason you refused my proposal? " I couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah." She laughed this time.

I wasn't allowed to laugh but she is. I hit her arm.

"Dumbass...i cried my heart out."

She pulled me into a hug. This we're I belong. I thought aloud.

"Yeah."