I guess winter is coming 🌨

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4th November 2019.
I feel I've let myself and my parents down this year.
I haven't been myself either. It's like I don't know how to be me again no matter how much I try to do the things I used to do or the things I like. It's just not the same and it doesn't change me.
I've been skipping a lot of classes and not studying but wasting my time, and not intentionally either.
It's not like I've been working hard so I would deserve some free time, because I seem to always have free time.
I haven't lost any weight; in fact, I'm gaining even more..
I don't seem to find a way to control myself or my feelings.
I'm becoming more irritated, irrational, and overall annoying/annoyed at everything and everyone.
I also find things I like and when I do them I feel good about myself, but then I just ditch them for nothing.
Today I have an in-class assignment, but I feel like it's the final exam. I feel unconfident and very anxious, and like every other day, I don't feel like going.
Could anyone tell me anything that would help.

Because it's like sometimes I don't care about a thing, and don't care if whatever happens because I just don't care, so I skip classes and not prepare, but then I get really anxious and annoyed at myself and feel that I'm failing myself and that I want to do better, and maybe I do do better for a day or two, then that ' I don't care for anything ' attitude comes back and the cycle keeps being repeated.

So please, if anyone can tell me anything to help, please do.

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