Severus... Reformed / SNILY (COMPLETE)

Chapter Fifty-Four

Severus met up with Lily the next day to stop her needlessly attempting to find him.
"Severus," Lily said when she saw him, evidently relieved. "Remus wouldn't tell me where you were."

"He didn't know where I was," Severus commented idly.
He trailed his fingers over a dusty desk in the abandoned classroom where they stood.
"Why?" Lily asked, startled.
"We're not speaking."

"Severus!" Lily sounded annoyed. "Why not?"
"I couldn't possibly say," Severus drawled.
Lily reddened in anger.
"So that's how it is? Mulciber and his friends attack us and then you stay in the Hospital Wing for the best part of two sodding minutes with your best friend before vanishing! Why do I even bother with you?"

Severus shrugged wordlessly. It wasn't the first time Lily had been angry at him and self-loathing didn't exactly work anymore.
Lily growled suddenly.
"And to think that I was about to ask you if you wanted to come to my house for Easter! Now I'll ask Alice - just see if I won't!"

Regret pooled somewhere in Severus' stomach but he chose not to answer and she left in extreme anger. He was used to pushing people away - it had been his sole method of interaction in his Death Eater years - but this hurt far more than it ever had before. Severus was falling further and further into a dark abyss and it took more than his usual self-control to keep holding onto self-preservation and determination.

*

Therefore, as usual when the holidays came around, Severus was one of the few to remain at Hogwarts along with Lupin and Regulus Black.

To avoid the endless pit of misery and despair, Severus put his mind to work doing the one thing he could still find it in himself to do: brewing. He spent the large majority of each day scribbling in a little notebook and tweaking his potentially life-changing potion with fervour. If nothing else, this might wrangle forgiveness from Lily.

Regulus Black made his first appearance in a while halfway through the second week of the Easter holidays. Initially Severus didn't notice him but then the Slytherin spoke.
"Figured I'd find you down here."

Severus jumped slightly but it went unnoticed by the other student.
"You've reached the final stages," Black commented, peering into the cauldron. "Who will you test it on first?"
"I've got an idea," Severus murmured, measuring out Griffin Claw.
"Who?"

"You wouldn't know them," Severus straightened up with the usual acid back in his voice.
"Oh really?" Black sounded intrigued.
Severus sighed.
"Why are you here, Black?"

"Can a wizard not go wherever he pleases?" Black inquired teasingly.
Severus groaned.
"You're getting as bad as your brother."
"That might not be a bad thing."

Severus froze and looked at Black who laughed.
"You should've seen the look on your face," he said, amused. "And, since Sirius seems to wind you up so much, maybe I should adopt some of his ideas."
"If you ever did," Severus said seriously, "I would Stupefy you before you could even set a foot in this room and near this cauldron."

"Sirius can't be that bad at Potions," Black chuckled.
Severus had an incredulous look on his face.
"You must have seen his report at the end of last year."
Black thought for a moment.
"Oh, was that what he got the Troll in?"

Severus shook his head in despair.
"At least Slughorn can see that much."
"What did you get in your report last year, Snape?" Black asked, interested.
"An 'E'," Severus snapped, looked annoyed.

Black laughed.
"Anyone get an Outstanding?"
Severus thought for a moment.
"Lily, Lupin..."

"I thought you had a big argument with Evans?" Black asked with a hint of malice.
Severus ignored him.
"I mean," the boy continued, "if you call Lupin 'Lupin' and me 'Black', why don't you just make it all a bit easier and call her 'Evans'?"

"I call everyone by their surnames except Lily," Severus said, frowning.
"Exactly," Black said smoothly, "so why not just call that filthy Mudblood 'Evans'? Or better still, 'Mudblood'?"
Severus clenched his fists but refused to get angry. Anger had too often been the cause of arguments in his previous lifetime. And also, did Lily even mean anything to him anymore?

Plagued by his own disturbing thoughts, Severus turned back to the cauldron and began cutting up ginger root. Ginger root had immense healing properties which would help when added to Armadillo Bile.

Regulus, recognising that he couldn't get anything more out of Severus, had almost left the room when he heard something fall. He turned and saw Snape on the floor, unconscious.

He ran over immediately and kneeled by Snape. Had he inhaled some harmful fumes? It was odd to have reacted so quickly, and the boy was very clearly out for the count.
"Snape?"

Regulus gave the Ravenclaw a cursory glance and then saw something that made him stall.

"Severus?"

*****

A.N. Ooh I'm leaving you on a cliffhanger!!!! So horrible of me. xD
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