Severus... Reformed / SNILY (COMPLETE)

Chapter Forty-Five

Severus had been surprised, but not totally aggrieved by the news. He'd been with Remus when he'd been asked to go to Professor Dumbledore as quickly as possible, and then stood, totally closed-off, as his former guardian told him what had happened.

"Your mother has been found dead."

Though momentarily stunned, Severus could not claim to feel a strong emotion at this sentence. In his previous life Eileen Snape had died in his third year, and he didn't know what had sped up her demise this time. Dumbledore Side-Apparated him to Cokeworth, and both were silent as they entered the ramshackle house.

"Up here, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly, but he needed no direction. He could see the scene already.

His mother, hanging from the ceiling. Face blue, eyes empty. Hair limp. Hands that he pressed to her face, wet with tears, cold as ice. Wearing her best dress. The note on the bed. It had been one of her lucid spells. Severus felt a hand tighten on his elbow even as his knees weakened, and then collapsed. A voice called his name, but he ignored it. It wasn't her. It wasn't his mother saying his name. It was someone else; someone else who could not console him in any way. Why had she died sooner this time?

He dimly registered saying he didn't need to see the body – he'd already said his farewell, said it too many times. A chair was pushed under him, and his gaze blurred as figures moved past him at varying speeds: witches, wizards, Muggles, undertakers. His trance lasted several hours, and then it was over. Dumbledore would accompany him back to Hogwarts. It would be a few days before the funeral occurred.

*

Once again, it was somebody else who made his body come into contact with a chair. Dumbledore, whose x-raying blue eyes were soft and gentle.

"I am so terribly sorry," the old man said quietly.

Severus forced his eyes closed at the memory of his mother.

"Don't be. It was bound to happen."

Severus heard the professor shift in his chair.

"If you'll mind me asking, why?"

The boy reopened his eyes, and was immediately struck by the sympathy in the other's.

"My mother was never long for this world. My father saw to that."

Dumbledore leant forwards.

"You are an extremely unhappy boy, Severus. I would like to help you. Can I?"

Severus felt a tear prick at his eyes.

"Y-yes," he choked out. "I have_ to tell you everything. Everything."

"Tell me."

The wizard's voice was soothing, and Severus finally gave in.

"I'm not just a thirteen year-old boy," he began awkwardly.

"I know you're not, Severus. You are extremely capable_"

"No, no, you don't understand. My mind is that of a forty year-old, but my body is, in appearance, thirteen years old. I have lived, and I remember and bear the experience of all forty years. This is not the first time I have been given the news that my mother is dead."

To Dumbledore's credit, he didn't interrupt throughout the entirety of Severus' convoluted explanation. He merely frowned.

"And, if you were to lower those impenetrable Occlumency barriers for a moment, would I see those memories?"

Severus hesitated for a second.

"Yes," he replied.

"May I?"

The invasion of his mind was not completely brutal; Severus had managed to lower some of his walls, but not all, and so the entry was not quite as painful as it could have been should it have been against his will. He felt Dumbledore skim through the thoughts on the surface: the professor saw Severus' Sorting into Slytherin, a conversation with Lily in their sixth year at Hogwarts, Severus teaching Potions in a cloudy, fume-filled classroom. Finally, Dumbledore left him, and Severus allowed himself to slump slightly on the desk in front of him.

"I shall have to meditate on this," said Dumbledore solemnly at long last.

Severus trained his eyes on the ancient desk. He hadn't dared show Dumbledore his memories of being a Death Eater or his double agent lifestyle. It was simplest to pretend he'd graduated, become a teacher and been part of the Order at some point during the wizarding wars.

"I know," he replied.

"It's a lot to take in."

"I know that, too."

Sensing a lull in the conversation, Severus pushed himself up and out his chair.

"I'll await your message," he stated, moving towards the door.

"I expect it shall be obvious when I will have need of you," the professor spoke in response. "We live in dark times..."

Severus finished his quote.

"And times like these, dark times, they do funny things to people. They can tear them apart."

Dumbledore gave him an assessing look, and Severus took his leave of the headmaster, slipping silently down the stairs, and away into the darkness.

*****

A.N. So, who guessed it? Did anybody think it might have been the death of Eileen that caused Severus such shock? Or did anyone just think someone had died?

And now Dumbledore knows Severus' secret! What will happen next?

Apologies for not updating sooner - I was on holiday and didn't have WiFi.

The quote Severus finishes at the end was actually said by Arthur Weasley in the Half-Blood Prince film, but I think it'd be nice if it was originally Dumbledore's saying, and that Arthur revered him so much that he used it himself.

Thank you for reading and PLEASE COMMENT!!!!!! If you're especially nice, you get a follow. :)