All American Boys

43. These Tears I Shed for You

It was the first time I felt safe and sound again. Right there in his arms.

I wanted it to last forever, for him to hold me and never let me go.

Eventually, we parted. Sitting next to each other, I still felt the air pressing down oppressively over us. It felt like at any moment the tension would cause a break and our surroundings would just cave in and bury us under.

I finally decided to not to tell him, burying that guilty part of me. Besides, I've done many things and hid it for him. For his own good. Another secret wasn't going to change anything at all.

"I told you the other day at the hospital that I'll give you an answer," Isaac said, fidgeting with his fingers.

"And what is that?" I replied, turning to face him.

He slowly turned to face me too, and I found myself staring into those sad green eyes of his. I inched myself closer towards him, reducing the distance between us. I noticed him doing the same.

I placed my hand on his thigh, feeling him tense up from underneath my touch. It felt like a lifetime ago since I last touched him. I could hear him let out a shivering breath.

I couldn't resist him any longer.

Leaning forward, I brought my lips up against his, while my hand reached up to touch his soft cheek. His soft lips tasted sweet. We kissed for what felt like the longest time, before I eventually pulled myself away, as much as it pained me to do so.

"Someone could see us," I said.

"Right," he replied, flustered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I answered. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

The boy finally smiled. That shy, sweet smile that I had grown so accustomed to. That smile which I had missed so much.

"You were waiting for your answer and I still haven't given it to you," Isaac said.

The boy took a deep breath.

"I was wondering if we could be just like before?" he said. "If we could just start anew?"

I was more than happy to hear those words so much so that the tears just came naturally to me.

"Of course," I said. "Of course."

***

When we returned to the mansion, we kept our distance. I didn't want to arouse any suspicion, but to be honest it probably didn't matter. They could've seen me leave with Isaac, but what were they going to do?

I finally found Cyril. He was dressed in a sharp blazer, with a silver lapel pin displaying his family crest. His hair was done immaculately with slick pomade, and his leather shoes were shining like never before. He was going from guest to guest his usual perfect smile on his lips revealing his perfect teeth. If Cyril's day-to-day appearance was already effortlessly perfect, how he put himself together that day must have come down to the very details. Even a speck of dust wouldn't dare to land on his flawless shoulders.

Further away I saw his stepmother in a midnight blue gown, embossed with silver floral motifs. Her hair was done up, held in place with a matching ornamental comb. A pair of diamond earrings adorned her small ears.

But it only served to remind me of the truth behind all those layers of finery.

It was a power play, of course. There was nothing subtle about it. The Crawfords were the most powerful family in Bethlehem, and they weren't afraid to remind everyone from time and time again.