All American Boys

14. I Fall to Pieces

All American Boys

Chapter 14: I Fall to Pieces

It just didn't make sense. It didn't make any sense at all. I knew I shouldn't feel that way. That he had the right to kiss whoever he wanted. We weren't together after all.

But why did it still hurt so much?

I spent a few minutes in the bathroom, trying to calm myself down. The moment I stepped out, there were quite a few people waiting outside the bathroom, but my tears had already dried. Although the sharp pain in my chest wouldn't go away. I didn't know what to do as I stumbled through the hallway. I couldn't go home since I had taken the car with Cyril, and I didn't want to cut his time at the party short.

"Alex," I heard a soft voice call out to me.

I stopped and turned around to see Shoshana standing there.

"Are you alright?" she asked me. "I saw you rush off to the bathroom, and I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine," I told her, nodding as I shoved my hands in my pockets. "I just. . . needed some time off that's all."

"If you want I could drive you home," she offered. "Parties like this aren't very helpful."

"It's fine," I told her. "I think I'll leave when Cyril does. I just need to forget about it."

"You sure?"

I only nodded.

"Besides," I added. "Its not like we're together or anything. He can do whatever he wants. I'm sure he told you about yesterday."

"Yeah," she replied, lowering her voice. "He told me what happened with you yesterday evening, and he told me about what happened just now."

I only shook my head and sighed.

"We should talk outside," Shoshana suggested, and I agreed.

She led me down the hallway to the back door, right by the spot where Isaac was, sucking some girl's face off earlier. He was gone now, and so was the girl. It was probably for the best. If I made contact with those green eyes of his again I would've probably broken down in sobs.

There was a garden in the backyard, with a winding stone path lined with lamps. They emitted a soft glow, illuminating the pathway in a dim and intimate light. Aside from a few teenagers on the veranda and a couple making out on one of the benches, the garden was empty. We were certainly out of earshot now.

"You know I like him," I said to her once we were away from everyone. "I really do. But I'm hoping you do understand why I rejected him don't you?"

"It's Cyril isn't it?" she replied, walking beside me, clutching her purse in her hands.

"It is," I told her. "But it isn't like what Isaac thinks it is. Me and Cyril. . .Yeah, we're a thing I guess, but-"

"You don't have any feelings for him," Shoshana said, completing my sentence. "I know."

"I mean, Cyril's nice and all," I replied. "But I need Isaac to know that I really do like him even though we can't be together."

"Are you telling me that you want me to tell him that?" she asked. "I mean, I could, but it'll be nicer if you just told him directly. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"No there's no need to," I said. "I'll tell him myself, but. . . I don't know."

"Well there's no need to rush," Shoshana replied. "And if he really does like you like he claims, he'll understand."