All American Boys

35.5 Feedback Needed

Note: This ended up being longer than I wanted it to be, and since it's not a content update, please feel free to skip this if you're not interested. However, I would really, really love to hear from you if you are willing to let me in on some of your feedback.

Hello, once again thank you so much for taking your time to read up until this point. The votes, reads and comments that you leave makes me feel happy and I really, really appreciate every single one of you for spending time and coming on this journey with me. 

So, what's with this update? Well, I've recently begun to do some editing on my earlier chapters, and as like all journeys, we may plan ahead, but sometimes the journey just takes some unexpected turns. The original story I had planned was vastly different from what it has become, and even though I've patched some stuff up and come up with explanations of certain things along the way, there are still some things that I'm rather dissatisfied with currently and I think some fresh perspective would be useful.

If you could spare some of your time to respond to some of my thoughts here, I would be very, very grateful. There's mostly one main issue that I would like to discuss.

So first off, let's start with our favourite character, Alex Sawyer.

I wanted to like him, I really did. And from the feedback I gathered so did most of you. Well, though it seems the general consensus is that yeah, he's gone off the deep end, there is still something that left me thinking, and that's something I would like to ask your for your feedback on. 

It's the pacing of Alex's. . . character 'development'. How was the pacing? Was it plausible enough? Please let me know. 

I will be leaving some guiding questions below to help me gather the feedback I need, as well as leave some of my own answers below as well, because I'd like to compare our different views on this matter.

Questions:

1) When did you start noticing something was off about Alex?

2) What did you think of the pace of his development? Was it too gradual? Was it too sudden? Did you feel like it was always there all along and he was pushed into it?

3) Are his motivating factors enough to drive him to such a state?

4) At what point did you feel was the point of no return for him? (If you feel so) Do you think he's redeemable?

5) Was the narrator's voice (POV) reflective of this change?

My answers: feel free to discuss with me!

1) To me, I think it really started to show when he started showing outbursts of extreme emotion towards Richard. Yeah, Richard is a piece of shit but the fact that Alex holds a grudge against him over an insult and the fact that he keeps bringing it up over and over again and promising that he would make Richard regret it speaks volumes to me. The abuse tolerated by Isaac honestly felt like a secondary motivational factor for Alex, more like 'more reasons to hate Richard'. Although it was what I felt drove him to action, I feel like Alex always wanted Richard dead anyway. And I felt that Alex just tried to convince himself that he did 'what was right' just to feel less guilty which was quite hypocritical in the first place since when the heck did Alex care about morality? He even stated himself that being good wouldn't get him anywhere, taking an example of Alicia.

2) I can't really answer this question, since this is the main thing that I actually wanted to ask, but I just wanted you all to know that my intention was to make it gradual and believable.

3) Well. . . I won't answer this question because I have some plans regarding this that I'd rather not spoil ;)

4) To me, I feel like the turning point was when he plotted to make out with Isaac in the locker room and have it filmed without Isaac's permission. I felt like it was honestly quite a disgusting thing to do, and he used Isaac to further his own agenda, as much as tried to disguise it as an altruistic one. It was also the first time we see him actively plotting something. I'm not saying he's irredeemable, but honestly I think we'll have to wait to see if he can change. Maybe he will, maybe he wouldn't.

5) After re-reading the earlier chapters I realised Alex's voice had gotten more and more cynical in his narration. I mean, there were some bits of cynicism in the earlier chapters but it was generally quite sparse, but now I find the general atmosphere to be very cynical and negative, which I found to be quite reflective of the general direction of his character.

Once again, sorry for this long non-content update. I sound like an English teacher. 

Anyway, I hope to hear from you soon! Your thoughts and insights would help me a lot, and I would greatly appreciate it. I really hope I didn't come across as self-absorbed or as someone who takes themselves to seriously, but when it comes to my work, I want to make sure that what you receive is the best that I could provide, because you all deserve it.

Thanks again for all your support.

Yours truly,

- 28th June 2019