Will The Moon Ever Hear The Stars?

Chapter 21

   "Soooooooo I'm Uhm I'm gender fluid," Aelin said looking at Asterin while they ate.

   "Yeah, I know. Ivan kinda mentioned yesterday. I don't really know much about it so I googled it. I didn't know you had to go through so much. I'm so sorry," Asterin says.

"Nooo! I'm really sorry, Asterin. I didn't wanna lie to you. I didn't want you to know Aiden. You made my heart flip the day I knocked you over. I wanted to get to know you more. The day when we went to the beach and I found out your parents are homophobes I decided to keep my secret away from you that includes you seeing me as Aiden but you did, unfortunately. I tried avoiding you when I was Aiden but you kept running into me and then I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to be with you. I know it's wrong but I've been through so much that I was scared you'll leave me if you found out." Asterin watched Aelin speak across the table.

   "I really love you Asterin. The main reason I kept pulling away was because I didn't wanna start a relationship on lies. I tried telling you so many times but then images of my past would stop me." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she spoke.

    Asterin reached out and grabbed her hand. Gently she stroked her knuckles while Aelin continued to speak.

   "M-My dad hated me. He-"

   "Cut the story of that douche bag. I already know it, " Asterin said.

   Aelin nodded.

   "His every action caused a great impact on me. I have issues Asterin. I have anxiety and depression. I'm gender-fluid person. Which means I don't have a stable gender. I'm like two different people sometimes even three. Some days I feel masculine, some days I feel feminine, some days I feel both and some days I feel like I have no gender. I don't even know who I am. I know I stand no chance with you-"

   "That's not true!"

   "It is!! Look at me! My girlfriend of 4 years left me on the day of our marriage because her parents didn't agree. My dad didn't want me. My girlfriend didn't want me. People like me don't get love."

   Asterin squeezed her hand.

  "Well, that makes two of us. My boyfriend cheated on me because he couldn't handle a deaf girl. My parents are probably tired of me. I hate myself. I'm so useless. So that makes two of us broken in this world."

   Asterin's eyes watered as she stared into Aelin's eyes. They both saw a scared little girl in each other's eyes who got shattered by the consequences of life. A scared little girl who is has broken as each other waiting to be fixed by one another.

   Aelin's phone rang and she grabbed her phone. Asterin washed the dishes while Aelin attended the call. Once she was done she found Aelin missing. She went into her room and saw her taking all her things.

   "I Uhm I have to go. My boss called. I have work at the shed." Asterin nodded.

   Asterin walked Aelin out to the door and stood on the front veranda. Aelin hesitated to speak and so did Asterin. Aelin kept shifting her weight from her right leg to her leg nervously.

   "Uhm I Uhm. I wanted I um- Can I take you out somewhere later this evening?" She asked.

   "A date?"

   "Yes! I mean no- I mean uhm if don't mind then yes, " Aelin shuttered and rambled making Asterin chuckle.

   "Yes, Aelin. You can take me out. Pick me up at 6."

   Aelin smiled and replied, "Thank you."

   Asterin took longer than usual to dress up. She wore her new blue jeans along with a black heart shapped polka-dots white blouse which she had bought on their trip.