The Avengers: Texters, Assemble!

~Retirement~

Steve, Tony, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Bucky, Loki, Wanda, Pietro, and Vision are online

Steve) Hello, team.

Tony) sup suckers

Thor) GREETINGS BRETHREN

Clint) caw caw

Natasha) hisssss

Pietro) SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wanda) SHUT UP

Vision)  01000011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100101 00101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00101101 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101111 01100100 01100101

Loki) Going to stab all of you

Thor) (;~;)--π

Bucky) I think what you meant to say was "scree-haw"

Tony) can we put that 1 back in cryo

Bucky) no plz im sorry

Bruce) I'm already so tired of this

Steve) Ohhhhkay, can everyone calm down here for a second? I have a question I'd like to ask everyone.

Tony) ask away capsicle

Pietro) youonlysaidforonesecondright

Bucky) whats up my best bud

Steve) I was wondering, just kind of curious. Have any of us thought about retirement?

Clint) Yes, Steve, don't worry.

Natasha) We have a nice home picked out for you just a couple of miles away from Clint's farm. We've done tons of research and found the perfect plan for you. You're gonna love it.

Steve) Very funny.

Tony) if u ever do move into an old person home im buying it lmao

Bruce) Tony

Tony) what

Bruce) Why

Tony) cuz

Steve) I'm serious, guys. If we were ever able to retire from superhero stuff... what would you do with the rest of your lives?

Bruce) Go back to the job that I freaking had before

You guys are aware that I'm a real doctor of real world doctor stuff right

Clint) mhm we know buddy

Personally speaking, I DID RETIRE. And then Tony decided to be a brat and break up the friend group and after that Steve stole my best friend and went to a foreign country and after that half of the world died including my entire family and after that I murdered a bunch of people and after that my best friend died and I had to go through a whole lot of work to get her back since no one bothered to tell us that TWO PEOPLE SHOULD NOT GO TO VORMIR TOGETHER

So yeah I tried to retire

Natasha) It's okay, I'm here now

Clint) Yeah, I know, I reimplanted a tracker in you so I never lose you again

Loki) Is it just me, or did the conversation gain a very dark undertone?

Thor) CLINT'S TRAGIC BACKSTORY IS PURE ANGST