Episode 1: Ah Shit, Here We Go Again

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The entire room groans, "Ah shit, here we go again."

☆☆☆☆☆

A young Hispanic man sits on top of the damaged roof of his house, staring up at the baby blue dawn of a warm morning. He laments, "What a terrible year this has been. It's not exactly the worst, but it's difficult, yes." He gives up another sigh. "A couple of famous people got shot in my home. My previous boss said some misogynistic and racist things. America's boss called me a corrupt, broken shit hole on Twitter. Many homes on the island still have no access to water or electricity. I'm still in debt. I'm still living underneath a tarp because I can't afford to fix my roof. And now, another hurricane is coming to my broken home...

... You know. I've been through a lot. Like a palm tree, I'm built to survive the biggest storms. I'm built to be strong. I'm built to live another day and see the sun again. Surely, things will get better... However," he clenches a fist, "I can't hold back my frustration. I've been through mud, rain, and literal shit. This is a tough world. I know that, but... They did me dirty. That I can't forgive. I will never forgive. How could they... How could they..."

He sucks in a deep breath. "HOW COULD THEY CUT ME OUT FROM THE FIRST VOLUME?!" Birds scatter into the sky. "I'm an AMERICAN territory! They had some of Canada's provinces as guests! They introduced some of Mexico's states! They promised me I would get my own episode! I waited! I waited for ten, twenty, thirty... I waited to be introduced in one of their fifty episodes! I waited for FIFTY episodes!

But like always, everyone forgets Puerto Rico! Everyone assumes only fifty states exist, but no! I exist, too! My episode was supposed to spotlight my existence and show I'm not a corrupt, broken shit hole like some people claim me to be. I waited. I waited for the release of that episode to see everyone's reaction. I waited for redemption, for an ounce of respect, for a person or two to understand I'm not a horrible place. Instead, I got a short email, telling me they had to cut me out of the volume due to budget cuts. Budget cuts..."

He slumps in disappointment. "I get it. Fifty states. Fifty episodes. That makes sense. But, where do I fit into all of this? Don't I deserve some recognition? I may have my problems, but everybody does..." He sighs. "What I'm trying to say... 2019 hasn't been a very good year for me..." He slowly gets up on his feet, going back to work to prepare for another hurricane to ruin his life...again.

~ Hetalia... ~

The news anchor on screen gives a summarized report of today's news. "Congratulations, Puerto Rico. You'll only suffer some major flooding to a couple of small islands. Otherwise, Category 1 Hurricane Dorian has spared you from major harm."

Puerto stares at the screen with bright eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. "Whew! Thank God." He's about to sit back on the sofa when his phone starts ringing. He picks up the call. "¿Hola (Hello)? ¿Quién es éste (Who is this)?"

"This is the creator of the show," says the caller. "Once again, I want to apologize for cutting your episode out of the first volume. I-"

"It's okay. I understand." He nods his head through that lie.

"I have some good news to tell you. You're going to appear in the second volume."

His eyes grow wide. "Really? No joke? How do I know you're not gonna do a Puerto Rican pullout on me?"

"Well, you're currently in an episode right now, so..."

"I am?" He turns to the audience. "I am!" He smiles and waves. "It's me! I'm Puerto Rico! I'm an American territory, and I exist! ¡Gracias! ¡Gracias! ¡Gracias! Thank you for noticing me!" He jumps up and down in glee.

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